How You Can Join the Fight Against Mental Health Stigma

May is Mental Health Awareness Month! During this month, it’s important to not only be aware of mental health, but to also consider the various barriers to care that we still face in society. While there has been significant progress in raising awareness over these past few decades, there still exists stigma surrounding mental illness. Stigma is dangerous because it leads to misinformation and distortions around people’s perception of mental illness, and deters people from seeking the support they need to heal. Stigma is antithetical to well-being, erodes people’s self-worth, and contributes to vicious cycles of suffering. This year, let’s finally say: enough is enough!

Public Stigma

Mental health stigma can take on multiple forms: public stigma, structural stigma, and self-stigma. Public stigma refers to society’s prejudices and stereotypes that frame individuals with mental illness as dangerous, unstable, or morally flawed. These misconceptions are largely created by the media or culture that portray negative, stereotypical, and misinformed messaging around mental illness. Over time, people begin to believe these misconceptions as fact, making it difficult for people to separate it from fiction.

Structural Stigma

Structural stigma involves the policies and practices of institutions and governments that systematically disadvantage individuals with mental illness. For example, health insurance companies may neglect or reduce coverage for mental health treatment, resulting in less accessibility for those who need it.

Self-Stigma

Another less discussed, yet harmful type of stigma is self-stigma. With this, individuals internalize the negative societal attitudes discussed above, resulting in shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness. People might believe that their condition is due to character flaws or a personal failing on their part, rather than it being a legitimate health issue. This type of stigma can be detrimental, leading people to hide their condition out of shame rather than seek treatment. For many people, the fear of being judged or labeled can be more daunting than the symptoms themselves!

How You Can Make a Difference

No matter how small, individual actions by everyday people can make a huge difference in combatting mental health stigma. It will require each of us to contribute to creating a culture that supports mental health, rather than shames it.

Speak Openly and Honestly About Mental Health

One of the most powerful ways to reduce stigma is to talk openly about mental health in your everyday life. It can be sharing your own experiences or showing curiosity and compassion when someone else shares theirs. When we treat mental health struggles as part of the human experience instead of shameful secrets, we create safe spaces for people to feel like they belong. This doesn’t have to be complicated, and can even look like asking your friend, “how are you really doing?”

Educate Others and Yourself

Stigma often stems from misinformation or a lack of exposure to mental health knowledge. Take some time to learn more about mental health, mental illness, and what it can be like for people who struggle with mental health conditions. Make sure you look for verified content written by mental health professionals, researchers, or by people with lived experience in order to prevent misinformation. Then, gently correct others with the facts when they speak from bias or misinformation. For example, say someone expresses that people with depression are just “lazy.” You might respond by explaining that depression is a valid mental health condition that affects energy and motivation, which can make even routine tasks feel overwhelming for someone.

Be Respectful

Language matters! Be sure you are being courteous and respectful with your language when engaging in discussions about mental health. Person-first or person-centered language is considered the standard when addressing people who may struggle with mental illness because it helps affirm the dignity of individuals living with these conditions. For example, instead of calling someone ”bipolar,” you should say they “have bipolar disorder.” This may seem small, but it can really help others not feel defined by their diagnosis. It also helps people see that a mental health condition is not their identity, but just one aspect of their lived experience. And please avoid derogatory slang or the casual misuse of psychiatric terms. Do not say phrases like “you’re psycho” or “I’m OCD about ___.”

Challenge or Refuse to Entertain Stigmatizing Media

Movies, TV shows, and social media can often sensationalize or grossly misrepresent mental illness. Our attention is power, and we oftentimes pay with what we choose to entertain. When you see a harmful depiction of mental illness, consider making the choice to look elsewhere and support other media. Additionally, you can help promote media you find that portrays powerful, healing, and beneficial examples of mental health. And if you feel inclined to take the next step, you can advocate by writing a respectful critique or letter to educate creators on the dangers of mental health misrepresentation.

Support the People in Your Life

We all struggle from time to time – it’s human. If someone in your circle is struggling with their mental health, offer genuine, nonjudgmental support. While you may think it’s helpful, oftentimes it’s best to avoid offering unsolicited advice or invalidating responses like “just try to be happy” or “you have nothing to worry about.” A listening ear can be so powerful. Next time a friend or loved one is going through a tough time, try offering a simple “I’m here for you” and listen to their experience. If needed, encourage people to seek professional mental health support.

Advocate, Advocate, Advocate!

Silence feeds stigma; your voice matters! Use your voice to advocate for mental health equity and awareness in your environment. This could be at school, workplace, or local community. Support legislation that improves access to mental health care. Encourage your employer to prioritize mental wellness by offering mental health days or employee assistance programs. Public demand and increased advocacy has the power to change public policy. Petition, organize a letter-writing campaign to representatives, or participate in organizing your own local events. All of this can help change your environment to be one that is more accepting of mental health conditions. Now, imagine how the world would change if we all did this!

Model Healthy Mental Health Practices

Leading by example is one of the most effective ways to promote change and reduce stigma. Work on maintaining your own mental well-being so you can show up to your spaces actively and intentionally. Practice common mental health hygiene such as setting appropriate boundaries, seeking therapy as needed, and developing your own emotional self-awareness. When others see you taking care of your mental health, they are more likely to feel empowered to do so too!

Important Mental Health Resources

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, free, and confidential emotional support for people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

  • Crisis Text Line offers free, 24/7 support via text message for anyone in crisis.

  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline offers free, 24/7 confidential help in English and Spanish for individuals and families facing mental health or substance use disorders.

  • Psychology Today is one of the best resources for finding licensed therapists, psychiatrists, and treatment centers. You can search by ZIP code, insurance, and specialty.

  • Therapy for Black Girls, Therapy for Black Men, NQTTCN and Inclusive Therapists are all resources that offer culturally-responsive, gender-and-sexuality-affirming mental health provider directories designed to support BIPOC, minority, and sex and gender diverse communities.

  • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers peer-led support groups, educational resources, and advocacy for individuals and families.

  • Veterans Crisis Line offers free, 24/7 confidential support for veterans and their families.

  • The Trevor Project offers crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ+ youth.

  • 211 connects people with local health and social service resources, including mental health services.

Sources:

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health/art-20046477

  2. https://www.nami.org/education/9-ways-to-fight-mental-health-stigma/

  3. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/stigma-and-discrimination

  4. https://www.camh.ca/en/driving-change/addressing-stigma

  5. https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/26-06-2024-the-overwhelming-case-for-ending-stigma-and-discrimination-in-mental-health

  6. https://depressioncenter.org/outreach-education/depression-center-toolkit/want-mental-health-advocate/fight-stigma-and-support

  7. https://www.cdc.gov/mental-health/stigma/index.html

  8. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10220277/

The Impact of LGBTQIA+ Identity on Mental Health and Strategies for Well-Being

Many LGBTQIA+ individuals face additional challenges around discrimination, stigma, and social acceptance that can make it more difficult to maintain mental health. Additionally, there can be a lack of representation and training amongst clinicians for how to work with LGBTQIA+ people in a gender-and-sexuality-affirming way. These barriers can complicate the process for sex and gender folk seeking mental healthcare. For sex and gender diverse populations, it is extra important to understand these challenges and adopt essential strategies for maintaining your mental health – especially during the turbulent times we are living in.

Common Mental Health Challenges for LGBTQIA+ Individuals

Research shows that LGBTQIA+ individuals are more likely to experience mental health concerns like anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation compared to heterosexual and cisgender individuals. This disparity can be attributed to minority stress theory, which explains how chronic stressors–like social rejection, discrimination, and internalized stigma–can have a detrimental effect on the mental health of sex and gender diverse individuals. Many of these individuals experience microaggressions, bullying, or familial rejection, which may contribute to feelings of loneliness, low self-worth, and emotional distress. For many LGBTQIA+ individuals, these experiences have followed them throughout their childhood and even into their adult lives. For example, someone who is gay may have experienced bullying throughout grade school and may continue to receive homophobic remarks on the street as an adult.

Additionally, transgender and nonbinary individuals often face barriers to receiving gender-affirming care, which can further complicate physical and mental health treatment. The process of navigating medical systems, legal recognition, and social acceptance may be deeply exhausting and distressing for sex and gender diverse folk, as many of these systems were not built with these communities in mind. Without adequate support and treatment, these experiences can lead to increased rates of depression, anxiety, and–in worst cases–suicidal ideation for members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Strategies for Maintaining Mental Health as an LGBTQIA+ Individual

Being sex and gender diverse can sometimes mean approaching mental health a bit differently than heterosexual or cisgender people. Despite the challenges mentioned above, there are many ways LGBTQIA+ individuals can take care of their mental health and continue to build resilience in a challenging society.

Seek Affirming Mental Health Support

For members of the LGBTQIA+ community, finding a standard therapist may not always be enough. This is especially true if you live in an area that is not as accepting or progressive of LGBTQIA+ rights. It can be important to find a therapist who is knowledgeable about LGBTQIA+ issues, as well as one who is gender-and-sexuality-affirming. An affirming therapist will validate your experiences and help you navigate identity-related stress in a supportive environment.

Build a Strong Support System

This is one of the most important suggestions on this list. Unfortunately, many sex and gender diverse people have experienced ostracization from even their own families. Because of this, it is crucial–and even lifesaving for many–to find community amongst other LGBTQIA+ folk. Surround yourself with affirming friends, chosen family, and LGBTQIA+ community spaces so that you have somewhere you can belong to. We all need to feel like we belong, and being a part of your local LGBTQIA+ community can foster our very human need for acceptance. Even if you live in a location without a strong community, you can turn to online spaces for connection.

We all need places where we can let loose, be our true selves, and be accepted for that. It is incredibly healing when you are seen and accepted for who you are! These places exist; it may require a bit of digging depending on where you’re located. And if you feel inclined, you can even build these spaces you wish to see.

Set Boundaries with Unsupportive Individuals

It is okay to limit your interactions with unsupportive people and those who are insistent on bullying you or forcing you to change. Prioritizing your well-being can sometimes mean protecting yourself from people that are causing you harm. Boundaries can look like choosing not to engage with people who consistently bully you for who you are. Boundaries can also look like refusing to engage in conversations around sexuality or gender with loved ones if you know it will be detrimental to you. Boundaries might also look like speaking up for yourself when someone wrongs you and letting them know what they said was not acceptable.

Additionally, no one should be causing you physical harm because of how you choose to identify. If this is happening, it is crucial to find ways to remove yourself from this environment and alert the proper authorities if necessary.

Engage in Self-Care and Stress Management

Individuals in the LGBTQIA+ community can sometimes deal with increased stressors that heterosexual, cisgender people do not have to consider. For example, it can be difficult to know what to do when you are consistently being misgendered at home and in school. Practices like mindfulness, body movement, and making art to express your feelings can help you manage and release feelings of distress. You can also consider utilizing strategies like journaling or engaging in hobbies you enjoy for needed emotional relief. Your physical health is also a part of self-care! Ensure you’re eating a balanced meal, drinking enough water, engaging in movement, and receiving adequate rest.

If You Have the Bandwidth, Advocate!

For many folks in the LGBTQIA+ community, advocating and fighting for our rights can increase feelings of empowerment and provide a sense of purpose. Whether it’s in a medical setting, workplace, or even personal relationships, advocating for your needs as a queer person can help you feel more empowered while also shaping your environment to be a safer, more inclusive space. Please note that you do not have to advocate, especially if it means putting yourself in danger of being further ostracized, harmed, or neglected. There are many sex and gender diverse people who may rely on remaining quiet for their survival – and that’s okay.

Know Your History

While this suggestion may seem out of place, it is actually quite important for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Queer history involves many powerful, iconic, and inspiring individuals who dedicated their lives to paving the road for acceptance. As decades pass, more and more members of our community pick up the torch and push for an even more accepting society for all sex and gender diverse people. Learning about this LGBTQIA+ history can empower you and provide you with a sense of belonging to know that even before you were born, people dedicated their lives to make sure you live in a better world than they did.

Resources for LGBTQIA+ Mental Health Support

For those seeking mental health resources, the following organizations provide LGBTQIA+-affirming support, crisis intervention, and community connections:

It can be challenging to be a sex and gender diverse individual in today’s society. Please know that you deserve access to affirming care, supportive communities, and resources that consider your unique needs – and these places exist. The world needs you here–as you are–and thriving in your authenticity!

Sources:

  1. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/statistics/lgbtiq-people-statistics

  2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X23000246

  3. https://mhanational.org/resources/lgbtq-communities-and-mental-health/

  4. https://www.americanprogress.org/article/discrimination-and-barriers-to-well-being-the-state-of-the-lgbtqi-community-in-2022/

  5. https://www.hrc.org/resources/mental-health-resources-in-the-lgbtq-community

  6. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/category/mental-health/

Stress Awareness Month: Tips for When You’re Experiencing Burnout

April is Stress Awareness Month! This is a great time to acknowledge the impact that stress has on our mental health. One of the most concerning (and increasingly common) outcomes of experiencing prolonged stress is burnout. Burnout is characterized by a chronic lack of energy or exhaustion, perpetual feelings of negativism or cynicism, and resulting poor performance. This tends to happen when we become emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted from overexerting and experiencing prolonged stress. Burnout significantly affects many individuals, especially those who hold challenging jobs with long hours or arduous work. Many times, burnout can come unexpectedly or a person may become aware of it only after they are deeply entrenched in its symptoms. In this blog post, I will explore where burnout comes from, its warning signs, and offer some useful strategies for addressing and preventing it.

Where Does Burnout Come From?

Burnout does not occur overnight. Instead, it is usually the result of prolonged exposure to stress. People who work in environments that demand high performance and are emotionally taxing are particularly vulnerable. Workplace stress is a major contributor to burnout, such as high workloads, unrealistic expectations, lack of control over tasks, inadequate support, and an imbalance between work demands and monetary reward. Other situations, such as being a parent, can also lead to burnout. The emotional labor involved in childbearing can be just as, if not even more, exhausting over time. Students as well are at a high risk of burnout due to academic pressures, high expectations, intense workloads, and a lack of personal time. 

Mental health can also exacerbate or lead to burnout. For example, people who struggle with perfectionism, workaholism, or lack of boundaries can see higher rates of burnout. People who hold themselves to unattainable standards or take on excessive responsibilities can often bring on experiences of chronic self-imposed pressure. This is why boundaries and proper work-life balance are crucial, as we’re not meant to be constantly productive and always working. “Work hard, play hard” is more than a catchy line, it’s a motto for sustainability. Rest is imperative in our lives and is one of the protective factors against burnout, as we’ll go into later in this blog.

Signs of Burnout

Burnout can manifest in different ways and affect anything from emotions, to cognitive functioning, to behaviors, to even your physical health. Emotionally, people experiencing burnout often feel drained, overwhelmed, and unable to cope with everyday tasks. It could be that an easy task like answering emails may now take them double the time to do. People also often experience a decrease in motivation, which can lead to cynicism and even resentment if built up for long enough. This reduction in productivity can also lead to emotional symptoms like increased irritability, frustration, and emotional outbursts as stress accumulates.

Cognitively, people can experience difficulties such as problems with concentration, increasingly “zoning out,” and trouble remembering things. All of this compounds to reduce overall effectiveness in work and in life. This oftentimes creates a vicious cycle where the decrease in productivity exacerbates chronic stress, as deadlines may get nearer or work begins to further pile on. This cycle can lead people experiencing burnout to feeling trapped in their condition, not knowing how to change it.

Burnout can also lead to physical complications as well, such as headaches, gastrointestinal issues, and a decreased immune system. Chronic, significant stress can sometimes lead people to get physically sick due to a weakening of their immune system! Plus, burnout can affect people’s sleep patterns. For example, people experiencing burnout can become restless, with some opting to stay up in order to prolong having to come into work. Others may sleep excessively as a form of escape from stress and fatigue.

Burnout also affects one’s social dynamics. People experiencing burnout may withdraw from social groups and isolate more. Some may even become apathetic, making it difficult to connect and build a relationship on common interests.

Recovery Strategies for Burnout

If you are recognizing signs of burnout in yourself or someone you know, it is important to be proactive in recovery as burnout becomes significantly more difficult to treat the more it progresses! Here are a few strategies you can use to mitigate burnout.

Validate How You Feel

While this may not solve the issue, it is important to validate and acknowledge that you feel burned out. Recognizing that you are experiencing something real that is shared amongst many individuals in society allows you to approach the situation without self-blame and criticization. Burnout is a real and valid response to chronic stress! Just as with all mental health challenges, it is difficult to move forward without first accepting where you are.

Figure Out Your Stressors

What’s really eating at you and causing you to burn out? Is it your work-life balance? Is it the kind of work you’re doing? It may be helpful to really pinpoint what may be at the root of your burnout. If you’re noticing the burnout is related to your employment, what facets of your job could you change that would result in a less stressful situation for you? Do you need more PTO? Do you want a shift in your day-to-day responsibilities? It’s important to have a grasp of what it is that is causing the burnout so that you can move on to problem solving.

Put Distance Between You and Your Stressors

This will look different depending on what your stressors are. Consider working within your power to create distance between you and what is causing you stress. For example, distance could mean asking your supervisor for a mental health day. If the stressors are related to raising children, perhaps ask your partner to take on increased responsibilities so that you can get a break. Consider balancing what’s feasible with what would provide you with the most relief. Sometimes, quitting a job may be the best answer if that’s feasible for you. For others, incorporating time to rest from work every day may be enough.

Another way of looking at this is setting boundaries. Set healthy boundaries between you and your stressors. For example, it can be helpful to set a mental boundary that helps you leave work at work. You can tie this boundary to a behavior; for example, my cue to stop thinking about work is when I take my shoes off at home. If you work from home, it can be helpful to find other ways to set and enforce boundaries. For instance, your boundary may be that you don’t work in your bedroom. This helps your brain delineate between what is and is not a space for work. It may also be helpful to set boundaries in relationships. For example, you might want to turn off your phone at night as you wind down for bed and communicate that you will reply to messages in the morning.

Practice Self-Care

It is especially crucial when experiencing burnout to prioritize proper self-care. This includes ensuring that you receive adequate rest, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in movement. It can be easy to let your health and self-care practices fall to the wayside when experiencing burnout. However, this can exacerbate symptoms and lead to additional challenges that keep you stuck. When in doubt, make sure your basic needs are met!

Another part of self-care is engaging in coping skills for self-regulation when you’re feeling the symptoms of burnout. There are many stress management skills to choose from, such as box breathing, yoga, or journaling. You may even use skills from different therapy modalities, such as Calm, Safe Space from EMDR. Practicing mindfulness meditation can also be helpful to alleviate symptoms of burnout. Here are a few methods below:

  • Body scan meditation: Lie on your back with your legs extended and arms at your sides, palms facing up. Focus your attention slowly and deliberately on each part of your body, in order, from toe to head or head to toe. Be aware of any sensations, emotions or thoughts associated with each part of your body.

  • Sitting meditation: Sit comfortably with your back straight, feet flat on the floor and hands in your lap. Breathing through your nose, focus on your breath moving in and out of your body. If physical sensations or thoughts interrupt your meditation, note the experience and then return your focus to your breath.

  • Walking meditation: Find a quiet place 10 to 20 feet in length, and begin to walk slowly. Focus on the experience of walking, being aware of the sensations of standing and the subtle movements that keep your balance. When you reach the end of your path, turn and continue walking, maintaining awareness of your sensations.

Ask for Help

You don’t have to go through burnout alone. Asking your social supports–friends, family, partner–for extra emotional support or assistance during this time can be greatly restorative! You can ask your loved ones to help you take some responsibilities off your plate. If your job is burning you out, consider reaching out to your supervisor to ask for increased support for your role. You may even ask if there’s any leniency in deadlines or if you’re able to take some time off. If burnout is becoming an overwhelming issue, there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help from a mental health provider.

Your “No” is Sacred

Similarly to the discussion around boundaries earlier, learn to say “no” and understand that your “no” is sacred! A part of burnout may be contributed to overexerting. This could be in work, in relationships, or with life responsibilities. A key to avoid burnout in the future is to know your limit for what you can handle, and practice getting comfortable with saying “no” to something that may cause you to overexert yourself. We all have our unique capacities as human beings, and we have to honor that. As much as we would like to please everyone around us or be productivity machines, it is important to realize that we can only do so much – and that’s okay! 

Honoring your capacity may look like saying no to working overtime, setting limits on work hours, prioritizing your needs above other people’s wants, and limiting digital connectivity. For example, if you’re exhausted and your friend asks you to join them for dinner, it is okay to honor your capacity and politely decline until you feel energized enough to do it.

Have Compassion for Yourself

While these suggestions are individual lifestyle changes that you can implement, the truth is that burnout is a systemic, collective issue. Many jobs are stressful and may not provide employees with proper work-life balance conducive to healthy mental and emotional functioning. This may be especially true when you work in difficult industries such as policing, the public sector, mental healthcare, or within social welfare. When your work requires you to be exposed to difficult phenomena regularly, it can be quite common to burn out. While the above suggestions can help, an effective strategy to mitigate burnout requires systems and organizations to also implement sustainable policies that promote healthy well-being for employees. The same can be said for difficult positions like being a parent. It can be very challenging to raise a child, and burnout is quite common if you have to juggle parental responsibilities with other life obligations. 

Have compassion for yourself if you are healing from burnout. It is a common phenomenon that affects many people; it is not a flaw within yourself!

You Can Do This!

Burnout can be overwhelming and difficult to go through, yet there are steps you can take to heal from it and protect yourself in the future. The worst thing you can do is do nothing, as burnout symptoms become more serious and difficult to remedy the more the condition progresses. By understanding the origins, warning signs, and recovery strategies for burnout, it is possible and doable to cultivate a healthier relationship with stress! This Stress Awareness Month, take time to assess your current well-being and see if any of the suggestions mentioned can help you decrease your stress levels.

And remember, if you or someone you know is severely struggling with burnout, there is always professional support available to help you navigate the journey toward recovery and balance.

Sources:

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/burnout/art-20046642

  2. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-recover-from-burnout

  3. https://www.npr.org/2021/03/08/974787023/burnout-isnt-just-exhaustion-heres-how-to-deal-with-it

  4. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/burnout-symptoms-signs

  5. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/burnout-recovery

  6. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356

  7. https://dpi.wi.gov/news/dpi-connected/burnout-systemic-and-we-need-systemic-solutions-0

  8. https://www.insidehighered.com/advice/2022/05/06/problems-burnout-are-collective-not-just-individual-opinion


Understanding the Signs of Substance Misuse and Commonly Abused Substances

Substance misuse is a severe public health concern that affects individuals of all ages and backgrounds. Because of this, it is crucial to remain educated about substance misuse, including recognizing early warning signs and understanding the risks associated with commonly abused substances. For National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week, let’s educate ourselves and others about how we can be proactive in preventing substance misuse and promoting healthier choices.

Know the Warning Signs of Substance Misuse

For something as dangerous as substance misuse, it is vital to recognize signs early to prevent long-term addiction. Behavioral changes are often the first indicators of such a problem developing. For example, individuals who are misusing substances may become more secretive, withdraw from family and social activities, or exhibit sudden and unexplained mood swings. They may also engage in risky behaviors, such as reckless driving or unsafe sexual practices, as their decision-making becomes impaired. Teenagers can begin to have trouble at school, such as skipping school or suddenly failing schoolwork. Whereas, adults may exhibit similar symptoms at work, like shirking work responsibilities, missing deadlines, or no longer coming into the office. If progressed to the point of addiction, resulting financial difficulties can often be an indicator, as individuals might resort to borrowing money, stealing, or selling personal belongings to fund their substance use. Sudden onset of drastic life changes are particularly important to examine, along with a sudden significant decrease in financial status.

Physical symptoms can also signal substance misuse. For instance, bloodshot eyes, unexplained weight fluctuations, frequent nosebleeds (often associated with snorting substances), and poor personal hygiene may indicate an underlying substance misuse issue. Individuals struggling with this may also neglect their appearance, appearing less groomed than usual. Additionally, changes in cognition and emotional well-being—such as difficulty concentrating, memory problems, increased anxiety, depression, or paranoia—can be linked to substance use disorders.

Moreover, there is a genetic component to addiction, which can be why substance use disorders tend to run in families. Additionally, individuals are more likely to develop a substance use disorder if they grew up in a household where one or more parents also struggled with the condition. Having a history of neglect, maltreatment, or abuse–especially in childhood–significantly increases the likelihood of developing substance misuse. There are also social and systemic vulnerability risks associated with substance misuse. For example, people from marginalized backgrounds who experience minority stress are at heightened risk of misusing substances in order to cope with systemic oppression. As misusing substances can be a way to numb painful experiences, those who experience socially toxic environments, discrimination, or racism are at a heightened risk of substance misuse.

Recognizing these warning signs early and seeking professional intervention is crucial to prevent harm and improve the recovery process.

Knowing the Commonly Abused Substances

Alcohol

One of the most widely abused substances is alcohol. Moderate consumption may be socially accepted, but excessive alcohol intake can lead to severe health problems like liver damage, cardiovascular disease, and increased risk of accidents (particularly car accidents) due to having impaired judgment. It can be helpful to be aware of what the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines as one standard drink:

  • 12 ounces (355 milliliters) of regular beer (about 5% alcohol)

  • 8 to 9 ounces (237 to 266 milliliters) of malt liquor (about 7% alcohol)

  • 5 ounces (148 milliliters) of wine (about 12% alcohol)

  • 1.5 ounces (44 milliliters) of hard liquor or distilled spirits (about 40% alcohol)


Marijuana

Marijuana has been legalized in many states and can be as socially normalized as alcohol. Like alcohol, marijuana may not be detrimental to your health when used in moderation. However, with these constantly-marketed, high-potency THC products, marijuana has become another commonly abused substance. Chronic over-use of marijuana can lead to a decrease in attention and learning capabilities, memory loss, behavioral dependency, and a more sedentary lifestyle. There have also been cases of marijuana-related mental health concerns such as increased anxiety and–while rarer–cannabis-induced psychosis.

Opioids

Opioids can include prescription painkillers like oxycodone, as well as illegal drugs like heroin and fentanyl. Opioids are often used in the medical industry due to their effectiveness in reducing pain. However, what makes opioids so dangerous is that they are often fatal when taken at higher doses. Not only that, but these substances are highly addictive and can lead to other issues such as difficulty breathing, confusion, nausea, and constipation. The synthetic opioid fentanyl is especially dangerous and is often mixed in with other “street drugs” clandestinely – significantly increasing the risk of an overdose. To illustrate the danger, fentanyl is about 50 times more potent than heroin and 100 times more potent than morphine.

Stimulants

Stimulants include drugs like cocaine, methamphetamine, as well as prescription ADHD medications like Adderall and Ritalin. Stimulants increase focus and energy, which may tempt people to abuse them. For example, caffeine is also a stimulant that has been normalized within society as a way to increase energy levels each morning. However, harder stimulants like cocaine and meth can result in detrimental symptoms when abused, such as rapid heart rate, heightened anxiety, paranoia, and severe cardiovascular issues. Long-term addiction can also result in malnutrition, psychological deterioration, and severe social and financial problems.

Benzodiazepines

Opposite of stimulants are benzodiazepines, which produce a sedative, calming effect on an individual. Benzodiazepines include Xanax and Valium, and are another class of drugs that can be frequently misused. These drugs are typically prescribed for anxiety and sleep disorders, but  are extremely addictive. Over time, these drugs can lead to physical dependence, severe withdrawal symptoms, and even increased risk of overdose. Additionally, chronic abuse can result in insomnia, extreme anxiety, memory problems, and anorexia. Additional danger is presented when people combine benzodiazepines with alcohol, resulting in heightened risk of death.

Unregulated Substances

Many people mistakenly believe that natural or over-the-counter substances are inherently safe. However, just because you can buy it in a store doesn’t mean it’s safe. Many of these substances are not FDA-approved, and it’s unclear what’s in them. For example, CBD (cannabidiol) is often marketed for anxiety, pain, and insomnia management. However, the only CBD product approved by the FDA is Epidiolex. However, for other CBD products, it may be unclear what the purity of the product is, how much of it is truly CBD, and what the dosage is. 

Ashwagandha is an adaptogenic herb used for stress relief. However, this substance is also unregulated. While it is generally considered safe for short-term use, it can interact with certain medications, exacerbate liver conditions, and cause thyroid imbalances. Other unregulated substances include Delta-9 THC and Kratom. Delta-9 THC is marketed as a legal alternative to marijuana that offers similar effects. However, these products are not subject to the same safety standards as regulated cannabis, and therefore their effects can be unpredictable. Additionally, it can be unclear what is in a specific Delta-9 product, as the ingredients may all be vastly different. The same can be said for Kratom, a plant-based substance used for pain relief and generating symptoms similar to using opioids. However, Kratom is unregulated and there have been cases of these products being contaminated with harmful substances. Since these substances lack strict quality control, their effects can be unpredictable and potentially harmful. Additionally, both Delta-9 THC and Kratom have been known to be addictive.

Help Resources for Substance Abuse

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance misuse, there are resources available to provide crucial support and guidance:

This National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week, let’s take the opportunity to spread knowledge and encourage open conversations about substance use – you may save a life.

Sources:

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/drug-addiction/symptoms-causes/syc-20365112

  2. https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/articles/warning-signs-teen-substance-use

  3. https://oasas.ny.gov/warning-signs

  4. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alcohol-use-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20369243

  5. https://www.cdc.gov/cannabis/health-effects/cannabis-use-disorder.html

  6. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/opioid-use-disorder

  7. https://www.wellnessresourcecenter.com/drug-addiction/stimulants/signs-symptoms-withdrawals/

  8. https://americanaddictioncenters.org/benzodiazepine/symptoms-and-signs

  9. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/expert-answers/is-cbd-safe-and-effective/faq-20446700

  10. https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/ashwagandha

  11. https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-delta-9

  12. https://nida.nih.gov/research-topics/kratom

  13. https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/about-alcohol-use/index.html

  14. https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/20190718-samhsa-risk-protective-factors.pdf

  15. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8126433/

  16. https://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/addiction/genes/

Self-Harm Awareness Month: How to Check In on Your Loved Ones

March is Self-Harm Awareness Month, a crucial time for bringing our attention to an often overlooked struggle that many people face. Self-harm, also known as nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI), is misunderstood and can carry a stigma that prevents individuals from seeking the help they need. Instead, people who struggle with self-harm can opt to hide their behaviors from others out of fear of judgment or being “too much.” Even if someone does not explicitly disclose engaging in self-harm, it can be important to check in on them anyway. A simple conversation can go a long way, and has the power to provide crucial comfort, connection, and support. However, it may feel difficult or uncomfortable to broach such a sensitive topic. Here are some helpful tips to guide you in this process!

Why Does Self-Harm Happen?

Self-harm refers to intentional acts of self-injury, such as cutting, burning, hitting oneself, or other behaviors that can cause physical pain. While not always linked to suicidal intent, it can often be a coping mechanism for when an individual is experiencing overwhelming emotional distress. People may engage in self-harming behaviors for a variety of reasons, such as to punish themselves for perceived faults, establish a sense of control, or express emotions they feel unable to share. Some may use self-harm as a means to distract themselves from overwhelming negative feelings, while others may use it to feel something physical – particularly if they often feel numb. It is vital to recognize self-harm as a symptom of emotional pain rather than the often stigmatized perception of it being attention-seeking behavior.

Tip 1: Create a Safe Space without Judgment

Before starting a conversation, make sure that you create a supportive environment. The goal is to offer a safe space where your loved one feels comfortable opening up without fear of judgment or punishment. It can be helpful to avoid strong reactions like shock or anger, as well as to refrain from using shame tactics such as guilt-tripping. Instead, use a calm, empathetic tone to encourage them to continue sharing and opening up about their experience. This type of approach builds trust. You can, however, talk about your concerns in a loving, non-judgmental way. For example, saying “I noticed you’ve been going through a tough time lately. I just want you to know that I care about you and I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

Tip 2: Recognize the Signs of Self-Harm

Self-harm is not always obvious. Many who struggle with it often try their best to hide their injuries due to fear of stigma or shame. It can be helpful to look for potential signs of self-harm, such as unexplained cuts, bruises, burns, or scars. Common places where self-harm occurs tends to be on wrists, arms, thighs, or the stomach. Sometimes, individuals who struggle with self-harm may wear long sleeves or pants in hot weather to hide these injuries. Discovering sharp objects, such as razors, glass, or scissors, in places they’re not supposed to be can be another indicator of self-harm. Additionally, there are behavioral signs that may indicate an increased risk of self-harm. These include withdrawal from social activities or close relationships, sudden mood swings or increased irritability, disclosed feelings of hopelessness, and overall low self-esteem.

Even if you’re unsure whether a loved one is engaging in self-harm, it is always better to check in rather than to assume they’re fine!

Tip 3: Prioritize Listening Rather than “Fixing”

Among the most meaningful ways to support someone struggling with self-harm is to listen without offering immediate solutions or judgment. Many individuals hesitate to open up about these struggles because they fear being dismissed, misunderstood, or judged. Refrain from saying things like “just stop” or “you have no reason to feel this way.” Especially steer clear from saying “you’re only doing this for attention.” Statements like these make an individual feel criticized, which can heighten negative feelings. Instead, opt for more compassionate language. For example, you might say “I can see you’re going through a really tough time. How can I support you?” Telling the individual that they aren’t alone and that you truly care about them can be so powerful during a time like this. Then, focus on listening to the individual’s concerns with empathy, rather than trying to fix what’s happening.

Tip 4: Encourage Professional Help

While friends and family can offer a wonderful source of support, intervention from a mental health professional is usually the best course of action for long-term, sustainable remediation. Services like mental health therapy and support groups can provide suitable coping mechanisms to address the underlying roots of self-harming behavior. It is common for people to be hesitant to seek professional help. For many, the idea of seeking help may be heavily stigmatized. Gently introduce the idea without pressuring or forcing them to go. It can be helpful to also normalize the idea of seeking help. If you’ve had positive experiences with therapy and are comfortable sharing, it may help your loved one to hear that during this time. If you are willing, you may even offer to help your loved one research therapists and mental health resources. In instances like this, it can be helpful to remind your loved one that they don’t have to go through this alone, and that there is help available for them.

Tip 5: Check In Regularly!

A single conversation is not enough. Mental health difficulties are ongoing and often require consistent support. Even if your loved one insists they’re fine after the initial conversation, continue to follow up with them regularly. Ensuring you check in consistently sends the message that you truly do care about what they’re going through, which can be powerful during a difficult time in someone’s life. Your check-in messages don’t have to be elaborate – keep it simple. You could start with, “hey, I’m thinking about you! No pressure to talk, but know that I’m always here for you.” Another simple, yet impactful way to check in is to offer to spend time with your loved one. You can say, “let’s grab a coffee this week, I miss spending time with you!”

Tip 6: Don’t Neglect Yourself in the Process!

Supporting someone struggling with self-harm can be emotionally challenging for you too. It is essential to take care of your own mental health while in the process of helping others. If you need, set emotional boundaries around your time and capacity. Remember: you are not responsible for “fixing” your loved one. Their healing journey–while it may be important to you–is not yours to carry alone. You might consider taking needed breaks to focus on tending to your own mental health throughout this process. It can also be extremely beneficial to seek out your own mental health support while assisting a loved one, such as finding your own therapist, joining a support group, or engaging in self-help. Please don’t forget to lean on your own self-care practice! Engage in activities that you enjoy and make time for rest and relaxation so you can continue to engage sustainably with helping your loved one. Remember: you cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself allows you to be a better source of support for others!

This Process Can Save Lives

Checking in on your loved ones whenever it is needed–not just for Self-Harm Awareness Month–can be life-changing. Even if they don’t open up immediately, just knowing that someone genuinely cares can give someone much-needed comfort and hope. Know that self-harm can be a complex challenge, but recovery is possible with the right support and resources. If you or someone you know is struggling, also consider reaching out to various crisis support resources as needed:

Remember: by reaching out compassion and encouraging professional help as needed, you can make a profound, life-saving difference in someone’s life. Let’s commit to supporting one another and lifting each other up – for this month and always moving forward!

Sources

  1. https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/

  2. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/12201-self-harm

  3. https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/how-can-i-support-someone-who-has-self-harmed/

  4. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20350950

  5. https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/what-is-mental-health/conditions/self-harm

  6. https://services.nhslothian.scot/wellbeinglothian/helping-a-loved-one-who-self-harms

  7. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/supporting-someone-who-self-harms/

How Sleep Affects Your Mental Health and the Importance of Sleep Hygiene

For those who don’t know, the first week of March marks Sleep Awareness Week! In today’s fast-paced society, it’s common for us to sacrifice our quality of sleep for more productivity, entertainment, socializing, or other obligations. However, quality sleep is one of the cornerstones of good mental health! Neglecting sleep can have a variety of detrimental impacts on your well-being, such as heightened stress, increased anxiety and depression symptoms, and a reduced ability to perform daily tasks. Furthermore, poor sleep habits can exacerbate emotional distress and decrease mental capacity – making little annoyances seem like big triggers. So what’s the good news? The good news is anyone can work on establishing proper sleep hygiene, which can greatly improve sleep quality and overall well-being!

How Exactly Does Sleep Affect Your Mental Health?

Sleep is a fundamental biological mechanism in our body. It plays a key role in emotional regulation, cognitive function, and overall psychological resilience. When we don’t get adequate sleep, our brain struggles to perform activities such as processing emotions, thinking critically, managing stress, and maintaining focus. According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, sleep deficiency has also been linked to depression, suicide, and risk-taking behavior. Additionally, persistent lack of sleep can also exacerbate existing depression and anxiety symptoms. Has something small that would ordinarily not frustrate you seem like a huge trigger when you’re sleep deprived? That’s because the amygdala–the brain’s emotional processing center–becomes dysregulated when you’re not getting adequate sleep, which leads to increased mood swings and trouble regulating emotions.

Now, there’s a lot of negative impacts that come from not sleeping enough. However, when you are sleeping well you might receive great benefits, too, such as improving your mood, helping you feel active and aware, and helping you deal with daily stressors. Restorative sleep has positive implications on your physical health as well, such as helping your body heal from wounds, balancing your hormones, lowering your risk of disease, and aiding your body in natural growth and development. As you can see, sleep is crucial for both our mental and physical health!

What Is Sleep Hygiene?

Simply put, sleep hygiene is a set of practices and habits that promote better, more restorative sleep. Think about personal hygiene, such as showering daily or brushing your teeth twice a day. These practices help you stay healthy throughout your life. Similarly, sleep hygiene ensures you maintain good practices that allow you to sleep soundly every night.

Tips for Practicing Good Sleep Hygiene

Maintain a Consistent Sleep Schedule

Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day helps regulate your body’s internal clock – also called your circadian rhythm. This is especially important on weekends, when we often sleep in. This maintained structure can enhance sleep quality by keeping a consistent rhythm that reinforces your body's natural sleep-wake cycle.

Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine

Practice participating in calming activities before bed, such as reading a book, taking a warm bath, meditating, or practicing deep breathing exercises. Oftentimes, we turn to Netflix or Instagram scrolling before bed, but these practices can be detrimental to our quality of sleep. Try avoiding stimulating activities like scrolling through social media, using the computer, or watching intense TV shows, as these habits can make you feel more alert and contribute to poorer sleep quality. Furthermore, the blue light from electronics can disrupt your body’s natural melatonin production – making it even more difficult to fall asleep.

Maintain a Proper Environment for Sleep

Ensure that your bedroom serves as a sanctuary for sleep. Making sure the room remains cool, dark, and quiet can promote a more relaxing atmosphere conducive to proper sleep. Light is the body’s natural trigger to wake up. If you receive a lot of light exposure from outside, consider investing in blackout curtains. Additionally, it can be hard to sleep with a lot of noise. White noise machines can be a great tool to use in instances where you may live in a noisier environment, such as the city.

Limit Caffeine and Alcohol Intake

Be sure not to drink coffee or any other caffeinated beverages too late in the day, as caffeine can stay in your body for multiple hours and result in difficulty falling asleep. Additionally, while alcohol can make you drowsy, it also can disrupt sleep cycles and reduce the quality of your sleep. Try to avoid these substances leading up to bedtime.

Engage in Routine Exercise

Regular physical activity during the day can be great for improving sleep quality! Make sure, however, not to exercise too close to bedtime. The elevated heart rate and body temperature that comes from strenuous physical activity may wake your body up and make it harder to fall asleep. Instead, exercising in the morning or early afternoon may be most beneficial.

Steer Clear of Long Naps

Short 20 to 30-minute-long naps can be beneficial for improving energy levels throughout the day. However, excessive napping during the day can disrupt your natural circadian rhythm – making it more difficult to fall asleep at night.

Get Some Sunlight

Let yourself enjoy the sun for at least a little bit every day! This can be especially helpful when done in the morning, as natural sunlight indicates to the body that it’s time to wake up and get ready for the day. This is beneficial for the body’s natural circadian rhythm, which will subsequently help your body fall asleep easier at night. Morning sun exposure can even result in a burst of energy that can help you get a head start in your morning routine – a double win!

Manage Your Stress and Anxiety

Have you ever laid in bed at night and weren’t able to fall asleep because your mind kept racing? This is more common than you may think! Stress and anxiety are huge barriers to restorative sleep. It may help to practice relaxation techniques such as meditation, journaling, or progressive muscle relaxation to help your mind calm down at the end of the day. If intrusive thoughts are keeping you awake, it may be helpful to keep a journal by your bedside to express your thoughts on paper. Doing this can sometimes feel cathartic and result in your mind beginning to rest. However, sometimes you may experience chronic difficulties going to sleep due to stress and anxiety. When this happens, it may be beneficial to speak to a mental health professional who can help you work through these symptoms.

All in all…

Practicing proper sleep hygiene is an important step in improving both physical and mental well-being. Our modern society can often encourage prioritizing productivity over proper sleep. However, our most optimal level of functioning comes from the right balance of proper rest and productivity! Try implementing some of the tips in this article and see how your life changes. By creating a lifestyle that prioritizes restorative sleep, you might notice some great benefits to your mental and physical health, as well as in your ability to stay productive!

Sources

  1. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/sleep-hygiene-simple-practices-for-better-rest

  2. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene

  3. https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/sleep-deprivation/health-effects

  4. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/sleep/articles/10.3389/frsle.2023.1145203/full

  5. https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Mental-Health-Professionals/Sleep/Sleep---Information-Sheets/Sleep-Information-Sheet---04---Sleep-Hygiene.pdf

  6. https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about/index.html

  7. https://www.healthline.com/health/sleep-hygiene


How to Identify and Foster a Healthy Relationship

Human beings are naturally social creatures that are wired for connection. Because this is such an innate component of our experience, it is crucial we engage in healthy and sustainable relationships with other people in our life. While every relationship is unique, there are foundational elements that contribute to a strong, fulfilling, and mutually beneficial partnership. Below are key indicators of a healthy relationship, as well as strategies to help foster one.

Effective Communication

This is first on the list because it is so imperative to all relationships! Open and honest communication is absolutely vital. People in healthy relationships at all levels (not just romantic) should be able to express their needs, concerns, and emotions without fear of judgment or retaliation. They also actively listen to one another, ensuring that both perspectives are acknowledged and understood. Conflict is inevitable, but healthy couples approach disagreements with a problem-solving mindset rather than seeking to blame or win against the other.

Mutual Respect

Along with communication, respect is another cornerstone of any strong relationship. This means valuing each other’s opinions, setting and honoring boundaries, and treating each other with kindness. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel heard and validated, even in moments of disagreement. This means responding courteously at all times, rather than engaging in name-calling, slurs, or hurtful language to spite the other. Additionally, respect in healthy relationships means refusing to engage in emotional manipulation – such as emotional blackmail (using threats, guilt-tripping, or conditional rewards).

There is Emotional and Physical Safety

Partners should feel safe with each other—both emotionally and especially physically. Emotional safety means being able to share vulnerabilities without fear of ridicule or rejection. Physical safety means that there is no presence of violence, coercion, or intimidation. A healthy relationship should never feel physically unsafe. A relationship where one or both partners feel unsafe is unhealthy and requires intervention.

Interdependence

While relationships thrive on connection, they also require individual autonomy. It’s important to not rely solely on the other in your relationship and to practice being self-sufficient. Healthy partners encourage each other’s personal growth, hobbies, and friendships. They balance time together with time apart, allowing for both self-development and shared experiences. While it is appropriate to feel connected and intertwined with your partner at times, remember that you are still two separate people with unique individualities.

It is normal to sometimes need to depend on the other in a relationship. Life is unpredictable, and relationships require adaptability to navigate challenges together. Whether facing career changes, family transitions, or personal growth, a healthy partnership works as a team to adjust and support each other through life's ups and downs. Sometimes you may play the supportive role to the other in your relationship; other times you may be the one needing the support. This is natural and does not mean you or the other person is codependent.

Trust and Honesty

Trust is built through consistent honesty and reliability. A healthy relationship does not involve secrecy, deception, or constant suspicion. Instead, both partners feel secure in their commitment and can rely on one another emotionally and practically. This also looks like an alignment between words and behaviors. Additionally, if sex is a part of the dynamic, people in healthy relationships always ensure that there is consent prior to acting!

Additionally, those in healthy relationships both give and receive small gestures of appreciation and gratitude over time. Whether through words, gestures, or quality time spent together, consistent acts of appreciation for one another are vital for building trust. The presence of these acts builds the trust that both people truly enjoy being in a relationship together.

Shared Values

While differences in personality and interests are natural, alignment in core values and long-term goals fosters relationship longevity. For sustainable relationships to happen, both parties must be aligned in their overall core values in life. If you prioritize being sober, it may be difficult to be in a healthy relationship with someone whose hobbies and lifestyle revolve around alcohol. When entering into a relationship with someone, ensure you are clear on the other’s intentions regarding personal aspirations, life direction, and personal character.

Healthy Conflict Resolution

Disagreements are normal and expected in any relationship, but how they are handled determines the health of a dynamic. People in healthy relationships fight fairly – avoiding insults, defensiveness, and stonewalling (shutting down a conversation). Instead, they focus on resolving issues through compromise, understanding, and–when needed–professional guidance. They prioritize the health of the relationship, rather than the need to win over the other person.

Final Thoughts

The advice mentioned is not solely for romantic relationships! Whether friendships, work relationships, family, or romantic relationships, the above are valid indicators for all healthy long-term interpersonal dynamics. A healthy relationship is not about perfection; it is about mutual effort, respect, and a commitment to growing together. If you recognize strengths in your relationship, nurture them. If you identify areas for improvement, take proactive steps to address them. And if challenges feel overwhelming, seeking professional support can help navigate difficulties and build a more fulfilling connection. And remember: communication, respect, trust, and intentional effort are what sustain a truly healthy relationship.

Sources:

Finding Balance Between Political Advocacy and Self-Care

Over the years, the political climate in the United States has become increasingly polarized and emotionally charged. It is common and normal for many to be experiencing heightened levels of stress, fear, and uncertainty at this time. It is crucial to recognize the importance of managing these emotions effectively and finding a solution that works best for your individual needs. Some may find empowerment through political advocacy, while others may be drawn inwards to engage in increased self-care. Wherever your path takes you during this time, it is imperative to find a healthy balance between action and self-preservation.

Knowing When to Draw Inwards

With the polarized and emotionally volatile discussions happening in the news and on social media, we may feel a pressure to rush into activism. However, there is no shame in needing to turn inwards to focus on self-care and self-preservation during these difficult times. This is especially true for BIPOC, trans, and marginalized communities who are often at the forefront leading these activist movements. The most effective activism happens from an embodied place of power – not from fear or exhaustion. It is essential to recognize when political discourse is negatively impacting your mental health, causing you to react out of fear or pushing yourself to the point of burnout. It is precisely then when we may need to turn inward. Here are some signs that it may be time to step back and focus on self-care:

  • You feel chronic emotional exhaustion: If you find yourself feeling consistently overwhelmed, anxious, or irritable from engaging with social media, the news, or activist work, it may be a sign that you need to take a break. Burn out is real, and it can be detrimental. Successful movements are community-based, where we rely on each other. When one person is struggling, the other steps in to support them. Do not be afraid to ask for support when needed and to give yourself grace to rest.

  • You notice a decline in daily functioning: If your engagement in political phenomena is severely negatively impacting your work, relationships, or daily responsibilities, it may be important to step back to restore balance. While it is okay to reevaluate relationships and organizations during this time that may not be aligned with your personal values, it is important to do so from a place of embodied logic and emotion – not from a place of fear.

  • You notice negative physical symptoms: If you notice an increase in stress-related or anxiety-related physical ailments–such as chronic headaches, difficulty sleeping, or chest pains–it may be time to take a break and prioritize your well-being. It can be common for people to push themselves to a breaking point when it comes to matters of importance. Remember: you are an important part of a movement, and the movement needs you at your fullest health in order to be effective.

  • Perpetual feelings of despair: If political engagement or staying current with the news and social media are leading to feelings of hopelessness or despair, it could be time to take a break and recharge. Great activism comes from a place of hope. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with despair, consider exploring ways to find joy in your life to bring back the feeling of hope. Consider reaching out to community members or engaging in a meaningful personal activity that brings you back to yourself. It is okay to take a break from current events to restore yourself!

It is important to note that you have every right to pendulate between self-care and advocacy work. In fact, it can be the most effective course of action. Rest is a crucial component of good work. Honor your body’s natural boundaries and signals regarding your own capacity to tackle these challenges. And when you’re ready, allow yourself to rejoin the fight for a more humane world.

Knowing When to Engage in Activism

While self-care is crucial, there are moments when taking action can be empowering and help channel strong emotions into vital change. Here are signs that it might be time to get involved:

  • You feel a strong sense of purpose: If you feel a calling to contribute positively and believe that your voice can make a difference, activism may be a healthy outlet for you.

  • A desire to connect with others: Advocacy work can provide great opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals and create a sense of community. Times of distress can feel particularly isolating. You are never alone in your strife, and there are others waiting to organize with you. Working together with people who share similar values can promote a strong feeling of empowerment!

  • You feel energized to make change: When you feel energized and passionate about specific causes, engaging in advocacy can be a constructive way to make change and to craft the loving world you want into reality.

  • You want to express your frustrations: If frustration is building, channeling it into organized efforts may provide a sense of control over difficult events and a feeling of fulfillment. Recognize that you feel frustrated for a reason. Perhaps it is your body calling you in to utilize your unique skills and abilities for a greater cause that you believe in!

Ways to Make a Difference

If you are feeling ready to engage in activism, here are some healthy and productive ways to get started:

  • Engage in local advocacy groups: Connect with community organizations that align with your values and work on actionable initiatives. Use websites like One Million Experiments to explore the types of groups available around the nation. If you don’t see a group in your area or one that resonates with you, consider creating your own!

  • Educate yourself and others: Staying informed and sharing factual information can contribute to more productive discussions.

  • Engage on Social Media: Some politicians actively engage with constituents on platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. You may also make posts, writings, or videos expressing your concern and advocating for others to join you. Social media is a great tool for outreach and spreading information.

  • Make art: Writing, painting, or other forms of artistic expression can be both therapeutic and revolutionary outlets for activism. Trust that others need the work that only your creative spirit and unique identity can bring. Art is a way to connect with others and showcase the truth of your human experience – one that others of similar experiences may find solace and connection in.

  • Contact your local representatives: Visit this website to locate your representatives for your district in New Jersey. To find your district, type in “New Jersey [county name] district” in Google search. Once you find your NJ Senator and NJ Assemblyperson, you can email or mail a letter to them expressing your concerns and offering any suggestions you may have.

  • Contact the US Senate: You may contact the US Senate through any of the means illustrated here. You can also call the United States Capitol switchboard at (202) 224-3121. A switchboard operator will connect you directly with the Senate office you request.

  • Attend a town hall or public meeting: These events provide opportunities for citizens to ask questions and express concerns directly to representatives in your local county. To find when the next town hall is scheduled, visit your county’s official website.

Navigating the current political landscape requires a delicate balance of self-care and advocacy. By recognizing when to step back and when to engage, we can maintain our own mental and physical health while still contributing to meaningful change. Remember, both are valid and necessary in creating sustainable activism. Now take care, be safe, and let’s fight for a more ethical and humane world together!


Tips for Combatting Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

It’s common to struggle with your mental health during winter months. With Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), people can feel symptoms of depression in accordance with the change in seasons, and symptoms usually begin and end at around the same time every year. During winter, days are shorter and the colder temperatures can bring about feelings of depression, lethargy, and social withdrawal. It’s important to implement effective strategies to help manage these symptoms and improve well-being. Below are some strategies to combat SAD during this chilly winter season!


Maximize Your Exposure to Natural Light

Make sure to open your curtains and blinds during the day to let light into your home. Sit near windows and enjoy the view of the outside. If you’re able, taking regular short walks outside during daylight hours can provide a great boost to your overall physical and mental health. However, even limited natural sunlight exposure can be beneficial.


Light Therapy

If you can’t expose yourself to natural light as often, consider investing in artificial light that grants similar effects. Exposure to bright light–especially in the morning–can help regulate the body's internal clock and improve mood. Using light therapy boxes or visors that mimic natural sunlight consistently for 20-30 minutes daily can help reduce symptoms of SAD. You can purchase light therapy boxes or visors at your local pharmacy or on Amazon.


Maintain a Schedule

Keep a consistent sleep and wake schedule to help regulate your circadian rhythms, which can reduce symptoms of depression. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day–even on weekends–is crucial.

Stay Active

Regular movement boosts the production of endorphins and serotonin, both of which are mood-enhancing chemicals. There are plenty of movement-based activities you can do indoors while it’s cold out. For example, activities like walking on a treadmill, yoga, or indoor aerobic movement can make a significant difference in your mental and physical well-being. Consider joining a local gym or investing in at-home equipment like Peloton or dumbbell weights.


Stay Connected

It’s easier to isolate during the winter months, opting to stay cozy at home instead of going out. This can be especially true for those who work remote jobs. Keep in mind that social support is vital! Try to push yourself to leave the house at least a few times per month. Reach out to family and friends, participate in group activities, or consider joining support groups as needed. If leaving the house is a barrier, you could opt to video or voice call friends and family. Additionally, there are many opportunities to find social groups that meet online through websites such as Meetup. Maintaining social connections are vital to help alleviate feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Maintain a Balanced Diet

Ensure you’re eating regular full meals, as both overeating and undereating can impact our energy and sleep. If diet is a concern for you, it may be helpful to speak with a Registered Dietitian to ensure you’re meeting your nutritional needs. Additionally, consider getting regular lab tests to monitor your level of iron and vitamins. For instance, it can be more common during winter months to be deficient in Vitamin D, which can increase depressive symptoms. Consult with a healthcare provider about appropriate vitamin supplementation, as needed.

Practice Mindfulness

Practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation can reduce stress and promote emotional balance. Here are some of my favorites:

  • Deep Breathing: The 4-7-8 breathing technique is a deep breathing pattern in which you inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. This technique activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps you feel calm and centered.

  •  5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: This technique is one of my favorites! With this, you identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. The purpose of this exercise is to reconnect you to the present moment and combat anxious thoughts.

  • Calm, Safe Place Visualization: If you start to feel overwhelmed, close your eyes and visualize a safe, comforting place. Imagine the details as vividly as possible, from the sights to the smells. This place should have no ties to anything stressful in your life. Sometimes people think of a fantasy realm or a place from a video game. You may even come up with your own imaginary place altogether – have fun with it! Utilizing calming imagery has been found to reduce anxiety and stress, and can soothe an overactive mind and body.

Do Something You Love

Plan and participate in activities that bring joy and satisfaction, rather than dissociation and numbing. Creative hobbies, reading, or exploring new interests can provide mental stimulation and improve your mood. The winter time can be a perfect opportunity to explore indoor hobbies that you’ve been wanting to try! It could be arts and crafts, illustration, writing, coding, or more. Let your intuition and imagination guide you! While it is okay to scroll on Instagram or binge shows sometimes, it can be easy to fall into the trap of numbing. Ensure you’re balancing these habits with more engaging hobbies to keep your mind active.

Seasonal Affective Disorder can be challenging. However, implementing these strategies can help manage symptoms and foster resilience during the winter months. If you or someone you know is struggling, remember that support is available and seeking help is a sign of strength. If symptoms of SAD become overwhelming, therapy could be a fruitful step! The cold and dark winter months can be tough for many, which makes it even more important to prioritize our mental health during this time.


Sources

  1. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/in-depth/seasonal-affective-disorder-treatment/art-20048298

  2. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20364722

  3. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/seasonal-affective-disorder

  4. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/seasonal-affective-disorder

  5. https://livehealthy.muhealth.org/stories/feeling-sad-4-sleep-hygiene-tips-help-seasonal-depression

  6. https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-to-know-4-7-8-breathing

  7. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety

  8. https://kitchenertherapy.ca/2021/09/08/emdr-safe-or-calm-place-imagery/

How to Set Successful Goals for the New Year

New Year’s can be a time of renewal, possibility, and optimism for the future. It can be an opportunity to set fresh new goals and create positive changes toward the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself. I’m here to make sure your well-intentioned resolutions don’t fizzle out by February! Effective goal-setting relies on a clear and structured approach. Here are some tips for how you can set yourself up for success in the new year.

Reflect before moving forward

Before going all-in with your exciting New Year’s resolutions, take a moment to look back on what worked and what didn’t work in this past year. Are there things you tried that you realized you didn’t like? Are there things you regret? Are there things you wish you did more of? Less of? Where would you like to focus your energy? Do you even want to set goals for the new year, or do you just feel like you have to?

With this reflection, don’t dwell on and shame yourself over past mistakes. Instead, use them as learning opportunities to inform your approach moving forward! Additionally, there can often be a pressure to set resolutions when New Year’s comes around. Know that you don’t have to set a resolution if it doesn’t resonate with you! Proper goals can be set regardless of what time of the year it is.

Set SMART Goals

The SMART Goals framework is a popular method often viewed as the cornerstone of effective goal setting. SMART stands for:

  • Specific: Make sure your goal is specific and defined clearly. Vague goals like "get healthy" are harder to pursue than specific ones like "exercise three times a week."

  • Measurable: Make sure there’s a way to track goal progress. For example, “save money” is not a measurable goal, but “save $100 each month” is.

  • Achievable: It’s great to want to aim high, but aiming too high might become discouraging. You’ll get there, but the way up is through a step-by-step process! Make sure your goal is achievable. For example, “make one new friend this month” seems doable versus “make 50 new friends this month.”

  • Relevant: Make sure your goals are aligned with what you really want. If personal relationships matter the most to you, a goal to "spend an extra day each week with friends" might be more meaningful than achieving a professional milestone. Additionally, if you don’t want to set a resolution during New Year’s, don’t – it’s optional!

  • Time-Bound: Set a deadline to ensure urgency and focus. For example, “talk to one new person by the end of the week” is more compelling than “talk to one person sometime in life.”

Break Down Goals into Steps

A mistake people tend to make is creating grandiose goals that seem great to accomplish, but then they end up not getting done. Big goals can feel overwhelming. Breaking down your bigger goals into smaller, actionable steps to increase attainability. Having smaller goals also allows you to celebrate your progress along the way! For example, if your goal is to run a marathon, your first step might be running for five minutes a day to gradually build your stamina.

Write Your Goals Down

There’s power in putting pen to paper. Writing down your goals solidifies your commitment and makes them tangible. Research even suggests that people who write down their goals are more likely to achieve them!

Build in Accountability

Share your goals with someone you trust. This could be a friend, family member, or even a professional peer. These partners can provide you encouragement, feedback, and reminders for you to stay on track. If you prefer to go the digital route, check out goal-setting apps or journals designed for helping you stay on track.

Stay Flexible and Kind

Challenges are inevitable in your journey through life. The goal is not to be perfect, but to simply make progress. You may stumble in your journey, but don’t let self-criticism take over! When in doubt, treat yourself with the same compassion you’d give your close friend. “Failure” is only information. Reflect on what caused a setback and adjust your plan as needed. And always make sure you celebrate your successes along the way!


Setting successful New Year’s goals is less about rigidly sticking to a resolution and more about creating a roadmap for your personal growth. By being intentional, compassionate, and strategic, you can transform your goals into reality. Remember, the journey toward your goals is just as important as the destination. There will always be more goals in life, but it’s only in the present moment where we’re truly alive!

As you embark on this new chapter in the new year, know that it’s okay to seek support if you need it. If you’re looking for a professional who understands the goal-setting process to help you achieve your goals in life, consider looking into therapy as an option.

I’m wishing you all the best for the year ahead! Here’s to a year of growth, health, and happiness!


Sources

  1. https://www.atlassian.com/blog/productivity/how-to-write-smart-goals

  2. https://www.verywellmind.com/why-new-years-resolutions-fail-6823972

A Guide to Setting Financial Boundaries During the Holidays

The holiday season often carries the expectation of giving and–for many–this time of year can bring about joy and festivity. However, the holidays can bring out stress as well, particularly in times of financial pressure and insecurity. It’s good mental health practice to be able to balance giving with the need to maintain financial stability and emotional well-being. In this post, I’ll explore how to set financial boundaries during the holidays and discuss helpful actions you can take to manage the emotional challenges that may arise.


Know your Limits

Before you can set a boundary, take time to assess your financial situation. What is your budget for holiday spending and how does it align with your broader financial goals? Write down and be clear about a realistic holiday gift budget for this year. Don’t just keep it in your head; it’s important to have a visible reminder of your budget boundary so you can refer back to it if you’re feeling pressured. Think of your budget as an act of self-care, rather than a restriction.


Communicate Early and Clearly

Once you’ve determined your holiday budget, share it with family and friends. Communicating your boundaries early can help you manage expectations and avoid awkward misunderstandings when it's time for friends and family to open gifts! Assertive communication is key to setting healthy boundaries. Practice using “I” statements to express your individual needs without blaming anyone else. Anticipate questions beforehand, especially if you expect family members or friends to challenge your decision. You can say, “this year, I want to give thoughtful gifts instead of expensive ones” or “I need to be sustainable with my finances this year; please know that my appreciation for you isn’t tied to a price tag!”


Connection is Priceless!

Holiday traditions may emphasize the importance of material gifts, but genuine connection and thoughtful, creative gifts could be even more meaningful. Consider alternative gifting like: writing a heartfelt letter, making an art piece, offering acts of service, or sharing quality time. Plan an outing or activity you can enjoy with your friends and family. Treat them to a home-cooked meal or freshly-baked dessert. These shared experiences can create lasting memories even more worthwhile than an expensive gift. If you enjoy crafting, create a scrapbook or photo album of your memories together. Know how to knit? Amazing at illustration? Feel free to use your skillset to make something personalized and one-of-a-kind for them.


Prepare for Potential Pushback

You may be surprised by how many people will readily and lovingly accept your boundaries! However, setting boundaries can sometimes lead to discomfort or resistance from others, especially in relationships where there feels like an obligation to give something grand. In these instances, it’s essential to stay firm in your decisions. When you’re faced with guilt or criticism, turn to grounding techniques. For example, use the 5-4-3-2-1 method to anchor yourself in the present moment by identifying five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This can help you manage emotional reactions and maintain boundaries.


Give yourself the Gift of Grace

This pressure to meet holiday expectations can sometimes lead to feeling inadequate or guilty. Remind yourself that setting financial boundaries is an act of self-preservation and that your worth is not determined by the amount you spend on others. Comfort yourself as if you were offering support to a close friend who felt guilty about their financial constraints. Write down what you would say or text it to a close friend and revisit the message when you need the encouragement!


Additionally, if you feel guilty for not spending as much as others, practice reframing your thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I’m not giving enough,” remind yourself, “I’m giving in ways that reflect my values and capacity.” Reframing can shift the focus from scarcity to abundance and creativity in the ways you can show care.


You Got This!

Setting financial boundaries during the holidays is not only a practical decision – it’s a deeply personal and emotional process of prioritizing your mental health. By understanding your limits, communicating assertively, and using coping skills to manage emotional challenges, you can navigate the snowy holiday season with more warmth and less stress. Your value is not tied to the gifts you give or the money you spend. This holiday season is about showing up authentically for the people you love. Remember, your authentic presence is more meaningful than presents! I’m wishing you a warm, authentic holiday season filled with peace, joy, and healthy boundaries!


Sources

  1. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.aspx

How to Stay Grounded During the Holidays

As Thanksgiving approaches, many of us look forward to spending time with family, eating hearty meals, and experiencing moments of gratitude. However, there are those who may not feel at home with their family and may come from households with a history of family trauma or strained family relationships. For many, holiday gatherings can be challenging–even triggering–and may evoke anxiety, discomfort, and resurfacing trauma responses. To help you navigate this season with your mental health in mind, here are some strategies to help you feel more empowered and centered during the holidays.


Set Those Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is essential. It’s easy for family gatherings to feel emotionally charged when family members are present who are closely tied to an experience of trauma or abuse. Before attending your gathering, consider the physical and conversational boundaries you would need to set in order to feel safe. Think about the following:


  • Set Time Limits: If extended exposure to family is overwhelming, consider setting a specific time limit for your visit. For example, you can communicate that you will stay for dinner, but leave before dessert. Additionally, you may opt to stay at a nearby hotel rather than spend the night at your family’s house.

  • Conversational Boundaries: Certain topics–like politics, gender and sexuality, or social issues–might be triggering. Plan ahead by kindly informing family members of subjects you would prefer to avoid, and prepare statements to redirect or excuse yourself if necessary.

  • Plan an Exit Strategy: It’s okay to have a plan to leave if things get too overwhelming. Ensuring you have your own transportation or a ride available can make you feel more in control and allow you to leave when you need to.

  • Minimize Vulnerabilities: Many Thanksgiving celebrations may include alcohol. Alcohol intake can lower impulse control and amplify your emotions, making it harder to manage stress or enforce boundaries. It may be helpful to set a clear limit beforehand or opt for a non-alcoholic alternative. Rely on grounding techniques–such as those discussed below–or brief escapes and positive distractions to relax.


Remember, boundaries are not walls. They are important and healthy ways to protect your well-being and honor your individual needs!


Practice Grounding and Mindfulness Techniques

For many, the holidays bring people back into contexts and environments that had been traumatizing for them in their early life. It’s normal for the body to feel on high alert in these triggering environments. Grounding techniques can help to bring you back to the present moment and reduce the intensity of triggers. Here are some strategies you could use as needed:


  • Deep Breathing: The 4-7-8 breathing technique is a deep breathing pattern in which you inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. This technique activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps you feel calm and centered.1

  •  5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: This technique is one of my favorites! With this, you identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. The purpose of this exercise is to reconnect you to the present moment and combat anxious thoughts.2

  • Calm, Safe Place Visualization: If you start to feel overwhelmed, close your eyes and visualize a safe, comforting place. Imagine the details as vividly as possible, from the sights to the smells. This place should have no ties to anything stressful in your life. Sometimes people think of a fantasy realm or a place from a video game. You may even come up with your own imaginary place altogether – have fun with it! Utilizing calming imagery has been found to reduce anxiety and stress, and can soothe an overactive mind and body.3


Manage Expectations

It’s normal and natural to hope for a peaceful gathering devoid of contention or arguments, but if past experiences have not reflected this, it may be important to adjust your expectations. It is okay to maintain hope that things will be different this time, but choosing to manage your expectations in case can help you avoid additional distress. For example, maybe you may be seeking the approval or validation of your family. Recognize that you are worthy and valid, despite what your family may think. There may be a chance your family may continue to not grant you the approval you’re looking for. Know that you don’t need to meet theirs’ or anyone else's standards to prove your worth.


Be Gentle with Yourself

Family gatherings and the holidays can often bring up old traumas and emotional wounds. It’s important to show yourself the compassion and care you need during this time. You may want your family to give you this compassion, and that’s normal. However, you can also choose to give it to yourself. Remind yourself to validate your emotions during this time and talk kindly to yourself.


Focus on the Good

While the holidays may be difficult, there may still be enjoyable moments within the challenges. Try to focus on those small moments of joy, if possible. This could be spending time with a supportive relative, cooking a favorite dish, or engaging in a solo walk outside. It could even be one moment of kind conversation or one sentence that a family member says to you that sparks joy.


Additionally, notice that every holiday is a chance to acknowledge your growth. If you’ve been on a healing journey–which you likely have if you’re reading this blog post–know that your effort has been culminating into long-term mental and emotional growth. Use the holidays as a benchmark of how things have shifted for you over time. Are you a little bit less bothered by an annoying family member? Do you sit in negative emotions just a little bit less than last year? These are all signs that you are actively growing and evolving – and that’s something to treasure.


Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

If you are nervous going to a family gathering alone, see if you can invite a friend or partner you feel safe around. You don’t have to go through the holiday difficulties alone. Lean on your support system, friends, therapists, or online communities to help you in this journey. Even if you are unable to bring a friend to your family gathering, you can text them throughout the night. It may also be helpful to schedule a therapy session before and/or after the gathering to prepare or process your experience with a trusted mental health professional. Therapists can also help you prepare an individualized strategy so that you feel ready to tackle the challenges that may arise.


Know Your “No” and Be Okay with It

Sometimes the most compassionate and healthy choice you can make for yourself is to not attend the family gathering at all. If the idea of Thanksgiving feels overwhelming to you or if you know it will be too challenging or harmful to attend, know that it’s okay to prioritize your mental health and that it does not reflect poorly on you. Opting for a quieter, solo Thanksgiving or a Friendsgiving can be a truly nurturing alternative – and that’s okay.


Thanksgiving has been strongly associated with the idea of “gratitude.” This year, give yourself the grace to practice gratitude in a way that is healing and healthy for you. It doesn’t need to be about family or tradition, it can be about appreciating personal victories–however small–and recognizing the courage it takes to confront your mental health and work through past traumas. Or, gratitude could even be cooking a nice meal for yourself this holiday. Honor your boundaries, take care of yourself, and show self-compassion. I hope these strategies help you navigate Thanksgiving more safely and compassionately. Remember, the healing journey is not about perfection, it's about honoring yourself and finding the right balance for you. I am grateful to you for taking your time to read this post – Happy Thanksgiving!


Sources

  1. https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-to-know-4-7-8-breathing

  2. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2018/5-4-3-2-1-coping-technique-for-anxiety.aspx

  3. https://kitchenertherapy.ca/2021/09/08/emdr-safe-or-calm-place-imagery/

The Importance of Gender-Affirming Therapy for Transgender Individuals

We live in a world brimming with beautiful diversity. Just as going on a hike reveals a variety of flowers, trees, and wildlife that enrich the landscape, the diversity of human beings brings light into each environment. We celebrate the vibrant colors of autumn leaves, each one adding its own beauty to the season. Similarly, people are breathtaking in their diversity, and it's inspiring to see more and more individuals embracing the identities that bring them joy. The journey to authenticity is one of self-discovery, resilience, and, oftentimes, immense vulnerability. Gender-affirming mental health therapy is a critical component of this journey, providing a safe space for trans individuals to explore their identities, confront societal challenges, and cultivate self-acceptance.


Gender-affirming therapy is therapy with a focus on affirming a client’s gender identity, instead of trying to “repair” it and is the ethical approach to working with trans clients.1 This goes beyond general mental health support and offers specialized guidance that acknowledges the unique experiences and needs of transgender, non-binary, and gender-nonconforming individuals. For many, the process of understanding, accepting, and expressing one’s gender can be difficult and emotionally taxing. The stigmatization and discrimination that trans people face in society, at work, and within relationships can make this journey feel isolating. When compared to the general U.S. population, severe psychological distress and depression rates are estimated to be between six to nine times higher for trans people.2 Gender-affirming care improves the quality of life for transgender individuals and without access to this care, this community faces increased risk of adverse mental health outcomes.2 That’s why this supportive therapeutic environment is vital; it allows trans individuals to feel seen, heard, and validated – all of which can be life-changing.


Gender-affirming therapy includes addressing eight main themes: trauma, shame, depression, self-harm, violence, sexuality, medical treatment, and societal stigma.3 Each of these themes can have a profound impact on the mental health of trans individuals in society.


Trauma

Trauma is unfortunately a common experience for trans people due to rampant transphobia and marginalization in society. Trans individuals carry the weight of these experiences, which can range from family rejection to mistreatment in healthcare to workplace discrimination to even physical and sexual assault, and much more.4 Gender-affirming therapy offers a compassionate space where trans individuals can process these traumas without fear of judgment, which is crucial for healing.


Shame

Many trans individuals experience intense shame around who they are, which stems from transphobic messages from society and those around them.5 This shame is internalized and leads to self-criticizing thoughts that tell them that their gender identity is “wrong” or “unacceptable.” It is important in gender-affirming therapy to challenge this shame, fostering a loving space where clients can explore their identities without judgment. Gender-affirming therapists work with clients to help them recognize and release this shame, replacing it with pride and confidence.


Depression

The Minority Stress Model can be applied to explain how anti-trans stigma and discrimination heightens the risk for this community to develop negative mental health outcomes.6 Depression is one outcome that affects the trans community, due to the compounding societal rejection and barriers to safety that they face. Gender-affirming therapists understand that for many trans people, depressive symptoms are a response to persistent experiences of invalidation and erasure. Therapy helps trans clients explore the roots of their depression and provides tools to combat these feelings, while celebrating their identity rather than suppressing it.


Self-Harm

Many trans individuals experience isolation, shame, and feelings of helplessness, which can lead to engaging in self-harm. Gender-affirming therapy helps individuals understand and replace self-harming behaviors with healthier alternatives, while ensuring to honor the individual’s gender identity and trans experiences.


Violence

Unfortunately, violence is a reality for many trans folk, whether it be physical violence, verbal abuse, or domestic or sexual violence.7 Trans women of color particularly face increased rates of violence due to the mix of transphobia, racism, and misogyny.8 Gender-affirming therapists must be educated on how to help clients heal from trauma, as well as be able to offer trans folk safety resources and engage in safety planning.


Sexuality

Exploring and understanding sexuality and gender identity is the cornerstone of gender-affirming therapy. Gender-affirming therapists offer a safe, judgment-free space where trans individuals can explore questions related to their sexuality and gender identity, as well as process important topics like gender dysphoria. By doing this, therapists support clients to develop a holistic sense of self free from shame. This exploration allows clients to feel more comfortable in their bodies and relationships, fostering a sense of confidence and freedom.


Medical Treatment

Medical treatment and gender transition are deeply personal, yet important aspects of life for many trans folk. From hormone therapy to surgical options, the journey can be both exciting and scary for many. Gender-affirming therapy walks this journey with clients, helping them explore their desires and concerns about medical treatment without pressure. A skilled gender-affirming therapist will help trans clients make an informed decision that aligns best with their own values, needs, and long-term goals. By supporting clients in this way, gender-affirming therapists are able to empower trans individuals to confidently take control of their own journey.


Societal Stigma

Transphobia can affect the basic needs of trans folk, including everything from employment opportunities, housing, finances, to interpersonal relationships. Additionally, anti-trans legislation is being passed at alarming rates, stripping the rights of this community to exist in society.9 This constant discrimination can take a toll on the mental health of trans folk and contribute to shame, isolation, and feeling ostracized from others. Gender-affirming therapy acknowledges the very real impact of transphobia and helps trans individuals build resilience against it. Therapists empower their clients and offer tools for self-advocacy and self-care that reinforce their right to live openly as they are. This support is critical to help clients challenge internalized stigma and advocate for their place in society.


Finding Gender-Affirming Therapists

Here are some ways you can find a gender-affirming therapist:

  • PsychologyToday is great for finding therapists, and you can filter by professionals near you who serve specific communities. Follow this link to find a filtered PsychologyToday list of therapists in New Jersey who focus on serving sex and gender diverse clients.

  • The National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network and Therapy for Queer People of Color are two organizations dedicated to helping sex and gender diverse people of color find gender-affirming mental healthcare.

  • The LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory can be used to find both gender-affirming therapy options, as well as LGBTQ+ focused healthcare near you.

  • Use Google to search for mental health providers who work with trans people or who identify as trans. Here are some helpful search phrases to get you started: “Trans therapist near me” or “Trans therapist in [your state]”

  • Connect with your local trans community or LGBTQ center to find trusted gender-affirming therapists through word-of-mouth. PFLAG is a national organization for LGBTQ+ support and advocacy with many chapters in different states. Reach out to your local chapter to find resources near you for gender-affirming therapy.

  • If you are in a mental health crisis and require trans-affirming mental health support, you can contact the Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860.

  • If a mental health provider isn’t taking new clients, you can ask for a referral for another trusted gender-affirming therapist.


The need for gender-affirming therapy is critical, especially with how pervasive transphobia and anti-trans legislation is becoming. As advocates and human-centered caregivers, we must push for better access to these services. This looks like training more therapists in gender-affirming practices and creating policies at the practice that make these services accessible to trans individuals of lower socioeconomic status. For trans people, authenticity is a journey that requires courage, resilience, and community support. Gender-affirming therapy is a crucial, life-saving resource for this journey and is an investment in the mental well-being and future of trans people everywhere. Together, we can build a world with services and infrastructure that fosters and uplifts–rather than marginalizes–gender diversity.


Sources

  1. https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/diversity/education/transgender-and-gender-nonconforming-patients/gender-affirming-therapy

  2. https://epi.washington.edu/news/why-gender-affirming-care-should-be-part-of-preventive-mental-health-care-for-trans-people/

  3. https://mhanational.org/lgbtq/trans/providing-gender-affirming-care

  4. https://www.academia.edu/download/31122982/NTDS_Report.pdf

  5. https://www.gendergp.com/my-experience-of-shame/

  6. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10712335/

  7. https://www.kff.org/mental-health/press-release/1-in-4-transgender-adults-say-theyve-been-physically-attacked-new-kff-washington-post-partnership-survey-finds/

  8. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0886260520949149

  9. https://translegislation.com/

Frightened of Therapy? Let’s Clear Up Common Therapy Fears

Halloween is all about spooky happenings and frightful scenarios! For many, beginning therapy is a daunting step and can be accompanied by many fears that stop someone from making the decision. However, therapy can be a wonderful and healing experience for many. Here’s a few common fears associated with beginning therapy, and why they shouldn’t be as scary as they seem!


Therapists don’t actually care about me, they just want my money.

This is perhaps one of the greatest fears people have when they think about going to therapy. While therapists do indeed get paid for their profession, they didn’t enter this field for the money. To quote my professor: “If I wanted money, I would have studied business and became an accountant.” The therapy field is a difficult field to strike it rich, and this industry attracts those with a genuine desire for helping people. Additionally, being a therapist can be laborious work and those who are in the field just for the money will find it difficult to remain.


My experience is too much for my therapist and they won’t want to work with me.

Therapists are professionals, with a minimum of a Master’s degree and hundreds of hours of clinical experience. They are trained to handle the myriad of mental health conditions and experiences people may have. Remaining objective, non-judgmental, and professional are core skills that each licensed therapist must train in within their education. While all of this is true, there are times when a therapist may need to refer you to another professional, such as when your experience falls outside their scope of practice. For example, a marriage and family therapist may not have the necessary training to support clients struggling with eating disorders. The referral process is in place to ensure you get the highest quality of care for your needs.


I’m too broken for therapy to work.

While you may feel this way, the truth is that there is always help for you – help that you deserve. Therapists are trained to sit and be with their clients, however difficult or uncomfortable you may find your experience to be. They are skilled in helping clients through seemingly unmanageable situations and being a consistent source of support. While not every therapist has the clinical expertise to treat every mental condition, in these cases therapists will refer clients out so that they can get the care they need.


Therapy is too expensive for me, I can’t afford it.

This can be a completely valid and rational fear. Therapy is not always accessible to everyone, however there are many affordable therapy options out there. We have an affordable therapy option at The Healing Tree, for those who cannot use insurance or are covered by NJ Family Care. Here are some additional options:

  • See if you can find an in-network therapist covered by your health insurance.

  • Use the keyword “sliding scale” when searching for therapists online. Sliding scale refers to a reduced rate for services for people who cannot afford the original fee. Not every therapist offers a sliding scale, but those who do can offer you the same quality of care for a lower rate. There is never any harm in asking a therapist you’re interested in if they do sliding scale!

  • Universities often have community counseling clinics that offer sliding scale therapy to the public. These clinics are staffed by graduate pre-licensed students who are receiving their clinical hours for their degree. All students are overseen by a licensed clinician, so the quality of care is dependable. You can search keywords such as “[University name] sliding scale therapy” on Google to find these clinics. Here is a link to Rutgers University’s clinic in New Brunswick.

  • If you are seeking therapy as a survivor of a violent crime, you may be eligible for VCCO benefits. The Victims of Crime Compensation Office offers financial support for those who have sustained personal injury or mental trauma as a result of a violent crime in New Jersey. Click here for more information about services and eligibility. While the VCCO only covers crimes that happened in New Jersey, other states may have similar programs available.

  • If the above options don’t work for you, consider joining a mental health support group. These groups are often free to attend or donation-based, and can provide you a space for healing among participants who share similar experiences. NAMI NJ offers free weekly support groups for those struggling with their mental health.


I hope this blog post helps dispel some of those fears of starting therapy! While it is totally normal to find beginning therapy daunting, know that it is a safe, healing space that is catered to helping you discover your best self. So enjoy your treats and Halloween scares, and know that help is there when you’re ready for it!


Let's Talk About Suicide ...

As of July 16th 2022, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline re-branded to The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. By dialing or texting 988 on your mobile device or heading to their website www.988lifeline.org where you can access the chat feature, you will be connected to a trained crisis worker for free, and obtain access to 24/7/365 confidential support and provide you with the resources you may need. The suicide & crisis line offers services for the hearing impaired, non-English speakers, veterans, and specialized services for LGBTQIA+. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2020, suicide was among the top 9 leading causes of death for people of all ages 10-64, 1.2 million attempted suicide,  and nearly 46,000 people died by suicide which is equivalent to 1 death every 11 minutes. 


The New Jersey State Public Health Data Assessment Resource indicates the average annual suicide count is about 740, and there are about twice as many suicides as homicides in the state. So, what steps and precautions is New Jersey implementing to prevent suicide? Governor Phil Murphy approved a budget for the fiscal year of 2023 where $28.3 million dollars is being allocated for crisis response, $12.8 million being applied towards implementing 988 and $16 million for mobile crisis response to support individuals in crisis who need in-person care (NJ Governor). Governor Phil Murphy also signed Bill S311 into law to establish a statewide behavioral health crisis system of care to ensure New Jersey residents have access to the specialized mental healthcare they need. Bill S311 adopted on February 3rd 2022 has several goals attributed to upholding the behavioral health crisis response including reducing the stigma associated with suicide, mental health conditions, and substance use disorders, improve equity in diagnosing and treating mental health conditions, and promoting full access to behavioral health care services across rural, urban, and tribal communities. 


Amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, our country’s mental health crisis became alarmingly apparent with shortage of mental healthcare providers and an increased need for specialized care, especially with our youth. In a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study, 37% of high school students reported poor mental health during the pandemic, and 44% reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness (NJ Governor). To prioritize the mental well-being of children and adolescents, Governor Murphy proposed the Strengthening Young Mental Health initiative which consists of four pillars including prevention and resilience building, increasing awareness and reducing stigma, access and affordability of quality treatment and care, and caregiver and educator training and support (NJ Governor). 


So, how can I tell if someone I care about is feeling suicidal or contemplating suicide? It’s important to understand that not all suicidal people present with the same symptoms. Some of the most common warning sides are: 

A suicidal person may talk about: 

  • Wanting to die

  • Being a burden to others

  • Overwhelming guilt or shame


A suicidal person may express feelings of: 

  • Emptiness

  • Hopelessness

  • Feeling stuck/trapped

  • Feeling they have no reason to live

  • Overwhelming sadness, anxiety, agitation or rage

  • Unbearable emotional or physical pain


A suicidal person may display these changes in behavior: 

  • Giving away personal items 

  • Making a plan or researching ways to die

  • Changes in sleeping patterns

  • Social withdrawal 

  • Extreme mood swings

  • Engaging in risky behaviors



If you or a loved one are experiencing suicidal thoughts please utilize one of the following resources: 








       References: 

New Jersey State Health Assessment Data New Jersey's Public Health Data Resource. NJSHAD - Complete Health Indicator Report - Suicide. (2022, June 29). https://www-doh.state.nj.us/doh-shad/indicator/complete_profile/Suicide.html 

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. (2023, February 17). Suicide Statistics. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Retrieved March 27, 2023, from https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/ 

Office of the Governor. (n.d.). Speaker Coughlin Highlights Mental Health Care Crisis Response Investments Ahead of 9-8-8 Launch. Official Site of the State of New Jersey . Retrieved March 27, 2023, from https://www.nj.gov/governor/news/news/562022/20220715e.shtml 

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, October 24). Facts About Suicide. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved March 27, 2023, from https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts/index.html 

State of New Jersey 220th Legislature. State of New Jersey Senate, No. 311 . (2022, February 3). Retrieved March 27, 2023, from https://pub.njleg.state.nj.us/Bills/2022/S0500/311_R2.PDF 

Official Site of the State of New Jersey. Office of the Governor | Governor Murphy Unveils "Strengthening Youth Mental Health" Initiative as National Governors Association Chairman. (2022, July 15). Retrieved March 27, 2023, from https://www.nj.gov/governor/news/news/562022/20220715a.shtml 

Warning Signs of Suicide. National Institute of Mental Health - Suicide Prevention . (n.d.). Retrieved March 27, 2023, from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/sites/default/files/documents/health/publications/warning-signs-of-suicide/Warning_Signs_of_Suicide.pdf

Understanding Depression

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness 1,112,000 adults in New Jersey have a mental health condition, with 42.2% of adults reporting symptoms of anxiety or depression as of February 2021. So - what is depression? How can I tell if I or someone I care about may be struggling? 


Occasional sadness and anxiety is a normal part of life. Think of a time where you were nervous to ask your crush out on a date or you were upset about a poor test grade. What truly differentiates the occasional feelings of sadness to clinical depression is the duration of symptoms, typically five or more lasting for 2 weeks or longer.


The National Institute of Mental Health defines depression as a common but serious mood disorder that can cause severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities such as sleeping, eating, or working. 


Symptoms of Depression according to the DSM-5: 

  • Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day 

  • Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities

  • Changes in appetite - weight loss or weight gain 

  • Changes in sleeping patterns 

  • Lack of energy, extreme fatigue 

  • Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and guilt

  • Difficulty concentrating 

  • Thoughts of death or suicidal ideation 


It’s important to understand that everyone experiences depression differently. While the symptoms mentioned above are some of the most commonly reported, they are not the only ones observed in people with depression. 


So - let’s say you feel that you or a loved one identify with some or all of these symptoms. What are some ways to help? 


  • Psychotherapy 

    • Talking with a mental health professional is a great way to begin the healing process. It is a safe space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and build healthy coping skills. 

  • Physical activity 

    • A body in motion stays in motion, and exercise is a natural way to release endorphins, known as the ‘feel good’ chemicals. 

  • Maintain a regular sleep schedule

    • If you are experiencing insomnia or sleeping more than usual, establishing a bedtime routine can help regulate your body’s circadian rhythm - our internal clock - to get back on track.


  • Healthy diet & Staying hydrated

    • People with depression may experience weight fluctuation as a result of loss of appetite or overeating. One way to maintain energy levels is by nourishing your body with eating meals regularly. Be sure to drink plenty of water to keep hydrated.


  • Connect with others

    • Talking with your loved ones, including friends and family, is a great external social support system. Check your local community center and consider volunteering or getting involved in new or old hobbies that allow you to express your creativity. If you have them - be sure to spend some time with your furry friends! 


The only way to know for certain is to speak to a mental health professional, and we’re hopeful the information in this post may encourage you to seek treatment or answer some questions you may have. 


  References

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (n.d.). Depression. National Institute of Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression 

Mental Health in New Jersey. National Alliance on Mental Illness. (2021, February). Retrieved from https://nami.org/NAMI/media/NAMI-Media/StateFactSheets/NewJerseyStateFactSheet.pdf 


DSM-5 Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - American Psychiatric Association 


Universal Mental Healthcare - Sustainable Development Goals are the way of the future!

Are you or a loved one experiencing social withdrawal? Mood disturbances? Thought disturbances? Changes in behavior? Irregular expression of feelings? Perhaps you or a loved one have already been diagnosed with or are actively treating a mental health condition.


I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that you are not alone. According to a survey conducted by Mental Health America (MHA), nearly 50 million Americans are living with a mental illness. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) defines mental illnesses as medical conditions that disrupt a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, daily functioning, and ability to relate to others. Just like physical illness, mental illness requires further treatment with a healthcare professional. Unfortunately, almost a quarter of all adults struggling with mental illness were unable to access the treatment they needed as a result of absence of health insurance or coverage limitations, shortage of mental health professionals, lack of treatment types, significant disconnect between primary and behavioral health systems, and exorbitant costs for mental health services if providers do not take insurance (MHA, 2022). Another worthy factor to consider is that individuals may be hesitant to pursue mental health treatment due to societal stigma. The consequences of lack of mental health treatment are dire and can result in increased suicide rates, increased rates of chronic medical conditions, and increased incarceration rates to name a few (NAMI, 2022). 


The United Nations (UN)  is an international organization where the world’s nations can gather together, discuss common problems and find shared solutions (United Nations, 2023).  The UN is responsible for the creation of the 17 Sustainable Development Goals ‘SDG’, each with an intent to promote prosperity while protecting the planet (United Nations, 2023).  The SDG’s are: 

  1. No Poverty

  2. Zero Hunger

  3. Good Health & Well-being

  4. Quality Education

  5. Gender Equality

  6. Clean Water & Sanitation 

  7. Affordable & Clean Energy 

  8. Decent Work & Economic Growth 

  9. Industry, Innovation, and Infrastructure

  10. Reduced Inequalities

  11. Sustainable Cities & Communities

  12. Responsible Consumption & Production

  13. Climate Action

  14. Life Below Water

  15. Life on Land

  16. Peace, Justice, & Strong Institutions

  17. Partnerships for the Goals 


As a whole, there are 169 unique targets divided amongst the goals to act as guiding principles to achieve said goal. All members of the UN as of 2015 have agreed upon the creation of the SDG’s and have committed to contributing towards the achievement of all 17 goals by 2030. The one we’ll be focusing in on is SDG #3 - good health & well-being, as this goal is one way in which we as a society can work together to increase access to affordable mental healthcare services. This is the first global plan documented that factors mental health as a realm in need of further development. Target 3.4 of this goal pertains to reducing noncommunicable diseases through prevention and treatment and promoting mental health and well-being (World Health Organization). 


The commitment to improving mental healthcare by the United Nations and World Health Organization are vital proponents for creating a better world and dismantling systemic barriers associated with untreated mental illness. This global scale initiative is a great step in the right direction, and will require participation from more than just United Nations members.

How can you make a difference in advocating for mental health care in your community? Stay tuned for more articles where we will discuss the expectations and benefits of therapy as well as some tips to improve your mental health outside of therapy. 








References: 

Access to Care Data 2022. Mental Health America. (2022). Retrieved from https://mhanational.org/issues/2022/mental-health-america-access-care-data#:~:text=Adults%20with%20Ami%20Who%20Did%20Not%20Receive%20Treatment%202022&text=Over%20half%20(56%25)%20of,Vermont%20to%2067.1%25%20in%20Hawaii. 

Navigating a mental health crisis. NAMI. (2018). Retrieved from https://www.nami.org/Support-Education/Publications-Reports/Guides/Navigating-a-Mental-Health-Crisis 

United Nations. (n.d.). The 17 Goals | Sustainable Development. United Nations. Retrieved from https://sdgs.un.org/goals 

World Health Organization. (n.d.). Targets of Sustainable Development Goal 3. World Health Organization. Retrieved from https://www.who.int/europe/about-us/our-work/sustainable-development-goals/targets-of-sustainable-development-goal-3 



Spiritual Wellness - Saving the best for last

Spiritual Wellness

 

hap·​pi·​ness

(ˈha-pē-nəs)

noun.

a: a state of well-being and contentment 

b: a pleasurable or satisfying experience

joy·ful

  (joi)

noun.

·       delight, great pleasure, joyfulness, jubilation, triumph, exultation, rejoicing, happiness, gladness, glee, exhilaration, ebullience, exuberance, elation, euphoria, bliss, ecstasy, transports of delight, rapture, radiance.

·       enjoyment, gratification, felicity.

·       cloud nine, seventh heaven.

·       joie de vivre.

 

 

You might be wondering why I’m starting today’s blog post with a vocabulary lesson.  You might also be expecting a post centered around religion – and yes, we will touch a little bit on religion today, but spirituality is a concept that encompasses so much more than just religion, and there are ways to have a full experience of spiritual wellness without ever stepping foot insight a place of worship or reciting a prayer!  So, back to our vocabulary lesson … “The term happiness comes from the Old Norse term happ meaning ‘luck’ or ‘chance.’” (www.dictionary.com).  You might feel happy when you find a $5 bill on the street, or when your school/job calls a snow day.  But happiness is temporary – it’s an emotion, and all emotions are temporary.  When the $5 is spent and the snow melts, the happiness fades. 

 

Joy though? Joy is rejuvenating.  Joy is laughter.  It’s connection.  It’s peace, it’s love, it’s compassion.  And for some people, that’s connected to religion.  For others, it’s connected to music, nature, animals, or people.  Joy lasts beyond the experience.  Joy fills us up.

 

Last summer, I went to an beach resort.  I’m content with a book and a beach pretty much any time.  One afternoon, my travel partner and I decided to split up.  They went to the gym and I stayed for an aquarobics class in the pool.  The activity was coordinated to music and I splashed around with a bunch of strangers for half an hour.  Afterwards, I sat in the pool and just reflected.  My book wasn’t waterproof, I didn’t have anyone I knew to talk to – I just sat.  And as I sat, an overwhelming sense of calm came over me.  I settled into myself and realized that I hadn’t been STILL in a very long time.  We’re always connected, you see.  Phones, Apple watches, laptops, tablets.  Always getting notified of something that isn’t here, isn’t now.  And I sat that way for an hour, just enjoying the sensations of the cool water, the warm sun, the sounds of laughter and conversation around me.  I vowed in that moment to make more time for silence and disconnection from my phone.


Yoga has always been a place for me to disconnect.  I love that my studio does not allow cell phones – it stays in the cubby outside with my shoes.  For an hour or so each week, I am only in tune with my body and my thoughts.  If you are a yogi (or even if you’re just at the gym, or running, or whatever), I encourage you to turn off or take off your smart watch.  Yes – that means running or lifting weights or walking without your podcast or your music!  See what it’s like to just be in the moment.  You can also try this with your pets.  Put your phone down and spend fifteen minutes petting your dog or your cat (or hamster, etc.) without any distractions.  The National Health Institute’s research shows that interactions with animals significantly reduces cortisol – the stress hormone. 

 

I also find spiritual wellness in music.  Many people I’ve worked with throughout the pandemic have struggled with the loss of live music – there is magic in the vibrations of song.  Whether you join a band, sing in a choir, or just go to your local open mic night, I encourage you to seek out live music.  Every Tuesday I gather with other music lovers and sing in a choir – and It’s wonderful.  Being in the room with other like minded individuals creates a sense of connection even without any spoken word!

 

I had been thinking about what to write for the spiritual wellness post for awhile – I’d planned to save it for last because our spiritual wellness is so wrapped up in the other dimensions.  We can gain spiritual wellness in our social connections, our physical experiences, in nature (environment), etc.  Spiritual wellness seemed like the culmination of a variety of topics.  And yet, I felt like there could be more.  I started doing a little reading and became interested in the service aspect of wellness - how giving can really lead to getting.   

 

One of my favorite ways to engage in spiritual wellness is being involved in causes that I truly care about.  Sure, there’s a few charities I regularly contribute to – that’s important.  But it’s passive – they take the monthly donation and I don’t think twice about it.  But there are also some active engagements!  I donate blood when I can (I tend to be anemic, so I’m often turned away) because I know how much blood donation can positively impact a family.  We foster retired lab beagles – it’s the most amazing experience.  They come to our home having no idea what a dog is, and within a few weeks, they learn about toys, stairs, couches, and snacks.  They learn about running and grass and playing.  And even though there is a bittersweetness in the goodbye when they get adopted, it is so wonderful to have seen them grow.  We hang their photos in a collage frame with the words “Goodbye Is The Goal” in our kitchen – we’ve seen 9 dogs come through this house and hope to need a bigger frame soon.  It fills my heart to see a dog who didn’t know how to be a dog make a new family happy.  I’m still friends with the adoptive mom of my first foster puppy on Facebook, and seeing the love that I helped bring into her family is the most amazing feeling!

 

So when you consider your spiritual wellness, I encourage you to ask yourself – what am I passionate about?  Do I allow myself silence?  Do I feel connected to anything (nature, people, animals, art, etc.)?  What are the things that speak to your soul?  If it’s hard to connect to your spiritual mind, perhaps start with asking your intellectual mind, physical mind, and social mind – what brings you joy?  

References:

National Health Institute. https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/02/power-pets

Social Wellness: Getting by With a Little Help From Your Friends!

We’ve almost made it to the end of our wellness series!  This week’s post is on the topic of social wellness – which might seem like one of the easier categories to define, but I find it’s often one of the harder ones to follow through on.  Especially for those who have grown up in the age of texting and social media, social wellness often feels like a daunting and seemingly impossible-to-conquer mountain.  I often hear worries about not having enough friends, not being interesting enough, not measuring up, and crippling social anxiety.  Similar to last post’s financial wellness, people often don’t know where to start – but they do know that their social wellness needs some attention!

 

So, what does social wellness even mean?  It consists of nurturing ourselves and others in our relationships.  It encompasses a lot of the areas of wellness that we’ve already gone over – physical, emotional, intellectual – and one that we’ll get to next time – spiritual.  When we are out of balance in one or more of these areas, it can have a negative impact on our social wellness, too!  Conversely, engaging in our preferred wellness activities can have a positive effect on our social wellness.

 

Some of our social wellness comes from our interpersonal skills – open communication about thoughts and feelings, trust building, active listening and empathy, and vulnerability.  Some of it involves engaging in meaningful shared interests and collaborative work towards goals.  Our friendships and relationships will not all be the same!  Some of your friends will be deep connections and others will be based around shared activities – your work friend, your choir friend, your gym friend.  The beauty of different kinds of relationships is that it allows for flexibility and breadth in our social circle – and that’s wonderful!

 

Throughout the pandemic, many of us have taken time to reflect on the relationships that we’d been engaging in.  Some friendships deepened and grew, and others dwindled away.  Some of us realized that there were friendships we didn’t miss, after all.  Others realized that deep friendships were missing.  We may have noticed who reached out to check on us and who didn’t – and we may have noticed who we wanted to reach out to and who we didn’t.  Perhaps we realized which friendships had toxic traits – the friend who only calls you when they need something, the friend who has boundary issues, etc.  Perhaps we were on the receiving end of being left on read and wondering why?  Some of us drew hard lines in the sand in regards to our values and redefined what respectful communication looks like.  And for many, that ended up looking like a smaller friend circle – maybe, for some of us, too small.

 

As you evaluate your current friend group, what do you notice?  Do you feel supported and respected by your friends?  Hopefully, as you evaluate your friendships, you’ll notice positive feelings and fond memories.  If instead you’re noticing that you feel exasperated when you hear from a particular person or that you find yourself leaving interactions feeling depleted, it may be time to evaluate if the friendship boundaries need to be adjusted.  What adjustments might you ask your friends to make?  How do they respond to requests for adjustments or new boundaries?  Try your best not to criticize, but to identify specific, behavior-based changes you’d like to see – “I’d prefer you not call after 9pm unless it’s an emergency,” “I don’t want to hear gossip about others any longer,” “Please don’t use that word.”  Sometimes when you open the door to discussions about boundaries, your friends might feel comfortable sharing their needs, too!  Talking about trust ruptures can be a wonderful way to deepen our trust in our friendships – if someone’s talking to you about their concerns, it shows you they’re comfortable being honest with you!  On the other hand, if you’re met with hostility, guilt trips, or indifference, it may be time to evaluate if this relationship is one that needs to stick around.  It’s okay to end a friendship that doesn’t serve both of you any longer – even if it’s a long-standing friendship, and even if it’s painful.  It’s okay to unfollow, mute, or block people who bring stress or upset into your life.  The only person you truly owe your energy to … is you!

 

It may also be helpful to reflect on your own communication style and responses to feedback.  Check in on your own communication skills – Use I-messages, maintain assertive body language and active listening skills, and check in with any defensiveness you might be feeling!  Be careful of thought traps like mind reading - at the end of the day, you don’t know what someone’s thinking unless they tell you (and if you can read minds, get off this blog and go open up your own psychic stand!  You’ve got a calling to attend to!).  It’s also important not to take things personally.  Remember: the way people treat you has to do with them, not with you.  If someone is coming off as rude or short, you can ask them about it, but don’t assume it’s because of something you did – they might have just had a terrible day, or they might treat everyone that way regardless of how their day went!  The only thing you can control is your response and the amount of space they’re able to take up in your life.  

 

As we come into the beginning of our third season of Covid, many of us are left wondering – now what?  How does one make new friendships in adulthood, particularly in a largely virtual environment.  There’s no lunch period in the middle of the school day to chat and get to know people.  There’s often not even a water cooler to gather around – some offices are still virtual, and for others, people stay in their offices in order to reduce exposure risk.  Even when we do find ourselves in potential social situations, we find people staring at screens with headphones tucked into their ears.  How do we make new friends??

 

First, start with where you already are.  Are there any friends you’ve fallen out of touch with out of pure circumstance?  A few years ago, I was scrolling through social media and came across an old friend’s post.  I thought to myself, why don’t we talk?  I met Sarah when she dated my friend’s boyfriend’s friend (did you follow that? I barely did!) – when they broke up, Sarah and I lost touch.  Down the road though, my other friend and her boyfriend also broke up – so there was no more awkward reason not to be in touch (and honestly, in hindsight, it would have been worth the awkwardness!).  I reached out, we got together, and we stayed in touch – Sarah and I chat probably every week these days!  We need to take risks in order to get the friendship payout – it won’t always result in a friendship – there have been other times when I’ve reached out to people and gotten “Yeah we totally should sometime!” and no follow up.  That’s okay!  I’m not for everyone, and everyone’s not for me.  The people who are your people will stick around. 

 

Okay, so you’ve checked in with your own skills, you’ve reached out to existing relationships.  Maybe there’s still a gap – so now what?  Here’s where those other wellness areas come in!  We can often build friendships around shared activities!  Some ideas here include grabbing lunch with a coworker, taking a class in an area of interest (like cooking or ballroom dancing or pottery), joining a Meet Up group doing something you like (hiking is a common one, but my sister joined a brunch meet up for women in her age group and it was awesome!), or joining a club or organization (a choir, a sports team, a faith group, a book club).  It’s helpful to be well rounded and have a variety of outlets – the old saying “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” comes to mind – your friends won’t always be available and they won’t always have enough capacity to be social, and it’s helpful to have other places to lean when one person isn’t around!  Having your own individual hobbies and interests makes you a better friend to yourself and to others.  

 

It’s time to take your own social temperature – what’s going right, where are the gaps, and what needs to change, be deleted, or be enhanced?  What steps do you want to take to enhance your social wellness?